“Listen, Lili. I’ve shown my work to some of the professors at the University of Lagos. They have an artist-in-residence program, and they want me. I can sculpt and you can teach. We are always talking about what it would be like to live in a country that can pronounce your name. Live in a country where you don’t have to march for the simple right to exist. This is it, this is our chance!”

“No, we can’t give up on this place! We can’t give up on those kids or this city,” I reminded him.

“You are fighting so hard, Lili, fighting for a country that will never see you.”

The room was too hot and too cold all at once. I felt like I was one step away from the edge and the ground kept shifting under me. Every muscle in my body tightened as I tried to force air into my lungs.

I walked over to him; I took his beautiful face in my hands. Maybe this failing was mine. My mama knows how to anchor my daddy so that he won’t float out into the darkness. Had I failed to do that? Had I failed to hold Akin down so he didn’t drift away?

“Akin, I love you. I know it’s hard, I do. But we can’t stop now.”

“Us finding a way to live our lives, us walking away from the white gaze and choosing to be happy . . . That’s a righteous, defiant act! That’s its own protest!”

That was when I told him about an idea that had been brewing in my head for the past two years.

“Akin, I’m going to start a nonprofit, right here in Harlem. I know I can’t change the entire world, but maybe I can do something right here. We can do it together,” I pleaded.

He shook his head and looked at me in disbelief. He took my hand in his and spoke in a very gentle but resolute tone.

“Rosalie, every day here is a blow. If it’s not a gut punch, it’s a jab. If it’s not a jab, it’s an uppercut. Or a bullet in the back from the very people who swore to protect and serve. I love you, but I am done with America.”

I was going to argue; it’s what I do best. But his eyes told me he was serious. They also told me that he needed to do this so he could keep his smile.

“You’re tired,” I whisper, almost to myself.

“Yes, Lili, and I have to take what’s left of my soul and go.”