The bell rings and jars me out of my thoughts. I step out into the hallway and join the parade of students heading for their lockers. Some of them look at me funny as they look up from their phones. Nai runs up to me like it’s life or death and says we have to go out tonight.

“Why?” I ask.

“We need to do something fun. We haven’t gone rollerskating in a while. Let’s go!” she says, practically dragging me from my locker.

“The Water Ladies organized a prayer meeting for my mom, and Uncle Ty and I have to be there. Anyway, I’m not really in a skating mood,” I reply. Once again, a student walking by me looks down at their phone and then up at me with pity. “What’s going on? Everyone I make eye contact with is looking back at me like I’m some sad puppy.”

Devonte comes up and embraces me from behind. And right away he offers to treat us to dinner at his family’s restaurant, right now. I remind him that he has practice, and he says he will blow it off.

“Okay, that’s it. What’s going on?” I ask. “And don’t say ‘nothing.’ You never blow off practice. And why are people looking at me funny?”

Devonte and Nai exchange looks. Well, this can’t be good.

“For real, just tell me.”

“There’s this video . . .” Devonte starts carefully.

Nai quickly warns me against watching it. But it’s no use. I need to see it. She gets the clip on YouTube and plays it for me. Some hate group added sound effects to the video of the shooting, cartoon noises. And when my mom lands on the ground, there’s a laugh track playing.

My chest tightens. I can’t seem to get any air in my lungs. I’m nauseated and the room is spinning wildly. Nai is talking, but I can’t really focus on what she’s saying. What’s happening?

“Ayo. Hey, it’s okay, baby girl. You’re okay.” Devonte’s voice is faint in my ear.

“I can’t . . . breathe . . . I . . .”

“You’re having a panic attack. But you’re gonna be okay. Just do what I say.”

I nod as I try not to give in to the sheer blinding terror rushing through me.

“Take deep, slow breaths. Okay? Deep and slow.”

He starts breathing with me. Other students start to crowd around me. Nai shoos them away.

“I need y’all to fall back!” she tells them. Her tone works. The students move along—mostly. There are a few determined to watch this play out.