Upstairs, she flopped on her bed, and closed her eyes. A trip to the beach tomorrow would be emotional – childhood memories were sure to flood into her mum’s head – and into hers.

She closed her eyes, and tears seeped through her lashes and rolled down her cheeks, dampening the pillow. It was almost an hour before she drifted into a fitful sleep.

Chapter 15

Present Day

Amelia

I glance up the hill I’ve just tobogganed down, and at Maddie standing beside me. She takes hold of my arm, and yanks me up. And as I scramble to my feet, I move away from her, making a show of dusting snow from my jeans.

‘Thanks,’ I say through a tense smile, dashing tears away with my scarf. ‘That was so cool,’ I add, deciding to fake brightness. I don’t want her to know how desperate I am. I don’t want her sympathy, or worse her mentioning me on her vlog.

‘That was so much fun.’ She looks far too happy, her cheeks glowing.

‘Well, I’m freezing down here.’ It’s Thomas, sitting in the snow, laughing as he rolls a snowball in his gloved hands. Several pre-made snowballs are lined up next to him, and I instantly know what he’s planning – still a kid at heart. Within seconds one hits me in the head, and ice-cold snow slips down my collar and down my back. I shudder. I’m not in the mood, and my stomach tenses. I envy but struggle to understand his ability to be so playful.

‘You can’t retaliate, sis.’ He picks up another. ‘I’m disabled. It would be cruel.’ Another hits me in the shoulder.

‘Cut it out,’ I say, and turn to look once more up Vine Hill. The snow has eased off, and I can just make out the shape of Finn at the top, staring down at us. He turns and walks away, and a few minutes later I hear the faraway rumble of his quad bike engine.

‘It’s going to take a while for Finn to ride down.’ I’m concerned for Thomas sitting waist-deep in the snow. We really hadn’t thought this through. I look about me, try to think what to do, and notice a bench near the trees. I remember the bench from when I was here last.

I dash over, and brush away the snow from the wood. ‘Let’s get you onto this bench, Thomas,’ I say, noticing there’s an inscription on the back. I rub the snow from it.

Kyla. Forever loved.

Footprints lead to and from the farmhouse, and I wonder if Michael Collis is there.

Maddie and I carefully lift Thomas onto the seat.

‘I’m a pain in the arse,’ he says, as we lower him down, both of us breathing heavily. He shakes his head in despair, hates relying on anyone – still clings to his independence as much as he can.