Drummondale House looks like a scene from a Dickens novel, snow lying inches thick on every crumbling window-ledge, every decaying doorway – and my stomach knots, and grief floods my veins. What am I thinking being out here, about to sled down a hill in abandonment?

It’s getting difficult to walk, my boots sinking deeper and deeper with every step I make. I can barely see in front of me for the falling snow. I glance back, but the view is no clearer. I’m glad we’re with Finn – he knows this place so well.

‘We’re here,’ he calls, cutting the power on his bike, and climbing off. He lifts Thomas off, and lowers him onto the snow.

‘Cool,’ Thomas says, flopping backwards, making the wings of a snow-angel with his arms. And for the first time in a long time, I urge his legs to work. I stare at him for a moment, and it’s as he pulls himself to a sitting position I think I see his foot move. I look straight at his face, but his eyes are on Maddie who is jumping up and down as though trying to warm her feet, her scarf blowing in the wind.

‘Thomas,’ I say, and he turns to look at me with enquiring eyes.

‘What’s up, sis?’

‘Oh, nothing,’ I go on; deciding the movement must have been my imagination – wishful thinking.

Vine Hill is steep. I work out it heads in the opposite direction to the sea, and the foot of the slope is in walking distance of the estate owner Michael Collis’s farmhouse.

Finn stomps his feet. ‘So, who wants to go first? Amelia?’

‘No, let Thomas and Maddie go down first,’ I say. Then it occurs to me. ‘Wait though, how the hell is Thomas going to get back up?’

‘I’ll take the bike the long way, and meet you at the bottom,’ Finn obliges. ‘No worries.’

‘I’m still not sure you should go down, Thomas,’ I say.

‘Hey, stop that,’ Thomas says, his cheeks glowing. ‘I’m going down. I’m all psyched up.’

‘Fine,’ I say. ‘On your head be it.’

‘You get on the sled first, Maddie,’ Finn says.

She looks into his eyes and grimaces, and he puts his arm around her shoulder. ‘You can trust me, Maddie,’ he says. ‘I know what I’m doing.’

She smiles up at him – is that adoration on her face? – and lowers herself onto the sledge.

‘Right!’ Finn continues, lifting Thomas onto the sledge in front of Maddie, and she grabs him round the waist, rests her face against his back.

Within seconds, Finn pushes the sledge and it hurtles down the hill, and Thomas and Maddie squeal with excitement as they zigzag through the snow, until I can’t see them anymore.

‘Your turn,’ Finn says, smiling my way.

‘Oh, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’ll stay right here.’