it has to be.

so grieve them,

and grieve the piece of you

they took when they left.

cry until you have no more tears,

scream until you lose your voice,

rationalize, un-rationalize, then rationalize it again

until your brain can’t form any more thoughts.

but in the end,

don’t forget to dry your eyes,

drink your water,

and actually listen to your best friend

when they tell you it will get better.

because it will.

slowly at first,

but then one day,

you’ll be surrounded by the life

you’ve built without them by your side,

and you will be proud of yourself

for coming so far.

listen to me:

you are still beautiful

even though they are gone.

you are still worthy of love

even though they don’t see it.

you are still everything

you have always been and

you are strong enough to live without them.

you are strong enough to live without them.

you are strong enough to live without them.

say it until you believe it.

—a healing exercise

this is the worst thing that has happened to you. i know. i know it is. but it won’t be the last experience you ever have. there will be so many more moments in your life that you’ll want to see, i promise. the rest of your life won’t be perfect. some of it will be bad. some of it may even be worse than this. but some of it—a lot of it—will be so, so good. and you’ll be glad you stayed. this is not what defines you. this is not the sum of who you are. this is one small piece. don’t let it take up more room than it deserves. don’t let it be the last thing you know.

i didn’t know

how badly

i wanted somebody

to look at me that way

until you did.

like you saw right

into the center of me,

like you knew my soul

from the very first second.

—you were the last thing i ever saw coming

you never thought this would happen to you, and it is killing you.

the agony is slicing through you like a knife. you didn’t know it was possible to feel this much pain. sometimes, you’re hardly able to breathe around the size of it. it’s filled your body. you are made of what has hurt you.

it burns that you didn’t see this coming. you didn’t get a chance to steel yourself for it at all. it doesn’t help that you are constantly thinking about what you could’ve done to avoid it, or what was left unsaid. those words haunt you more than anything else.

but you aren’t without people to lean on, at least. your best friend is at your side, wiping away your tears and holding you tight. you have your family. they remind you of all you were before and all you will be again.

you think of how farmers burn what remains of their old crops after the year’s harvest, how the flames clear the way for something new, how the ashes fertilize the soil so that the next harvest is even stronger than the last.