glowing without them there

to dim your light,

they will be sorry.

when they realize

they were just a lesson

you conquered,

they will be sorry.

—don’t bother waiting for closure

you don’t have

to forgive them,

and you certainly

don’t have to forget.

do those things only

if they feel like

the right choice for you,

not the result

of somebody forcing your hand.

i realized neither

was the right choice

for me.

i found peace and healing

much quicker when i stopped

trying to make myself

forgive and forget.

so i remember everything.

and i forgive none of it.

you’re learning to be okay with being angry.

there are a lot of reasons for it these days: all you have to do is open up twitter or turn on the news.

but that’s a comfortable anger for you. it’s easy to be angry at those things. it makes sense to be. in fact, it angers you even more when you see people not getting angry about them.

but it is hard for you to be angry at the ones you love. even if they deserve it. maybe especially then. forgiveness seems so much simpler, but it doesn’t leave you feeling any better in the long run.

so you are learning to be okay with being angry. with speaking up for yourself and being honest about how you feel. and the people who really care about you do better or, at the very least, try.

but the people who don’t care about you make no effort, and each time you ask them to, they make you feel small and foolish.

a year ago, you would have apologized, said you were just being dramatic. but now? now you know better, and you give them exactly what they deserve from you.

not a single fucking thing.

the hanged man

the best things

in life take

time.

they must take root

before they can

sprout;

they must be nurtured

before they can

blossom.

do not rush

what is not yet

ready.

you will be grateful

you gave it the time

it needed when at last

it stands before you

in all its beautiful

glory.

i have spent so long

wanting to escape the cycle

of lopsided dependency,

to be free of lovers

who make me the glue

that holds the pieces of their lives

together.

i am weary of relationships

that turn into cages.

i long for a love that frees me.

if i’d known

it was our last conversation,

i would’ve asked

you more questions.

i would’ve listened

more closely.

maybe i would’ve

seen the writing on the wall

and said,

it’s okay.

i can feel this distance too.

i don’t know why

we thought it would be easy

to keep each other close.

what if my happiness

isn’t as relatable or entertaining

to read about as my sadness

what if people

stop wanting to know

what i have to say

about the life

i’m living, now that

i’m happy it’s mine