Then there’s Monica, who is not only a vision of beauty—especially with her fresh Turks and Caicos tan and overall marital bliss—but also a smooth talker who is currently charming the pants off the Voyager guys. It could also be her formfitting red bodycon dress that has captured their attention, but who cares. They are eating out of the palm of her hand, which will no doubt make my job easier when it’s my turn to take the floor.

The Voyager team is comprised of three men who are considering working with us largely for our ability to target women in the influencer marketing space. I forgot their names as soon as they said them, which is a personality flaw of mine. Strangely, I find it difficult to retain the names of people who I haven’t first met (read: stalked) online. Associating a profile picture with a username is the only way I can remember names these days. It’s kind of like the way I learned Spanish vocab words with flash cards back in high school. Regardless, I’ve since dubbed the gentlemen in our company this evening as Eyebrows, Loafers, and Bald, and resolve that when they send a follow-up thank-you-for-dinner email on their way to the airport tonight, I’ll learn their names then.

“Okay, everyone,” says Zareen. “In the interest of time, why don’t we move on to our reporting capabilities now, shall we? I don’t want any missed flights on my watch!” She taps her wrist to bring her gold Rolex into frame, a true power move.

“Sounds fantastic,” says a buzzed Loafers.

“Charlotte, do you have Decker with you?” Zareen nonchalantly asks in front of everyone.

I wipe my face with my napkin as my stomach drops into the seat of my burgundy leather dining chair. How does she know about Decker? And that I have him in my bag?

“What was that?” I ask, clearing my throat.

“Do you have the deck...or is it with Monica?”

She said Deck-OR. She said Deck-OR, I repeat in my head as I attempt to safely bring my heart rate down.

“Oh, right. Yes, I have it,” I confirm. “I’ve actually loaded the presentation onto these iPads so that everyone may individually view it in the palms of their hands.”

At that, I dig into my Birkin for our five spare office tablets. I didn’t tell Zareen I was doing this, but when your boss kindly asks for razzle-dazzle, you bring it. Her eyes light up, knowing that I’ve just introduced a new element of cool to the table. The fact that everyone will be able to view the slides on a personal handheld device as I control the presentation from my iPhone should bring our clinch percentage into the high 90s.

As I reach around for the iPads, I can’t help but acknowledge that Decker is in the same bag. Right next to the thousands of dollars of technology, in a fake Birkin from Chinatown, in the swankiest restaurant on this side of the canyon.