That last comment about pulling the plug was a low blow, and she knows it. As the sole name on the DNR, it took a lot for me to come to the conclusion that simply having a desire to keep someone alive isn’t enough to make them stay alive and experience any sort of quality of life when their chance at such is less than 1 percent. It wasn’t back then and it certainly isn’t now. Which is why it stings to know she’s hanging the power of attorney over my head like I actually got away with murdering him or something.

So as a thank-you for reminding me of the part I played in his death, I simply responded to Debbie that I can’t text right now because I’m working a very important client event at West Hollywood’s new hot-cycle studio, WeHot. The more I name-drop, the more I’m convinced she’ll put two and two together with that Forbes article and realize for once that I’m a smart and capable woman who can handle rehoming her husband’s urn.

It sounds like the name of a menopause research center, but WeHot is actually a place that combines hot yoga with spin class. Not at all my style, but there’s definitely a market for it here in LA, and frankly, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to invent it. I figure that if my services are needed and Casey is at home keeping watch on the urn (she’s either off Tuesdays or doesn’t start work until the sun goes down—I’m not entirely sure of her schedule/circadian rhythm), then being here on official Influencer Firm business is actually the perfect distraction for the fact I’ve got an issue at home that would just make the most fascinating Today show segment. So I take the opportunity to embrace my work and lean in—or pedal out?—of the saddle, whatever empowering slogan makes sense for this situation.

Normally a programmer like me wouldn’t even have to come to a client event like this, let alone try the product firsthand, but since Monica is on her honeymoon, we are a little short-staffed on the client services front. I’ve been on board at The Influencer Firm the longest, which means when it comes to sending me or one of the new summer interns, there really is only one option as to who’s truly qualified enough to make the locker room area of this trendy boutique her office for the morning. And that’s me.

Our client list is growing like a weed thanks to that cheeky little write-up in Forbes. For the first time in company history, I have a feeling my boss is going to cast a few full-time offers out into the intern pool at the end of August. Even more so if—I mean, when—we land the Voyager account.

Given the fact I’ve been pressed to consider stats and make decisions a few times in my life, I can’t help but look at everything with an analytical eye. And now that the dinner is officially on the books, I’m estimating there’s a 90 percent chance that the company who is putting sustainable shoes on the map will come on board in the next 2.3 weeks.