“Here we are,” I repeat, defeated by his explanation. “Why didn’t you just ask Debbie and Kurt to step in then? Everyone knows they’re loaded.”

“I did. I went to them immediately after. They refused to believe the kid was Decker’s. They wouldn’t even look at a photo of him unless paternity was established, which I was eventually able to prove,” he says.

“Wait. You did the paternity test? Debbie said Kurt handled the labs.”

“It took a while for me to find it, but I located his electric razor in some of my old college boxes and brought it to the lab at the hospital for testing. Debbie wanted no part of this until things were confirmed, so I dealt with Kurt, gave him the results from the lab when they were conclusive, and they both have been involved in Aiden’s life since the results came back. But by then—”

“You had already taken my money and didn’t need anything from them.”

“I could have asked them for a loan, sure, and replaced your money right away. But I was trying to keep the spill contained. This was my mess, not theirs. If I roped them into it, I was afraid they’d already be off on a bad foot with Gemma, and she didn’t deserve that. They didn’t know Gemma like I knew Gemma.”

“Does that mean that you and Gemma...?”

“No, never. But I am the one who invited her to the party at the frat house the night I’m pretty sure Aiden was conceived. She was a couple years older than us. I met her through an upperclassman. Thought she was cute. We talked a bit before the party, exchanged some flirty texts. I guess she thought we were ‘hitting it off’ or something, but I never wanted anything serious. So, I ended up ignoring her at the party. Typical Brian Jackson during the college years. Anyway, next thing I know, Decker tells me the following day he hooked up with ‘that cool TA chick.’ It kind of surprised me, to be honest, but I just fist-bumped him and that was that.”

“That’s enough,” I say with frustration. I’m disappointed, but I can’t tell in whom. It’s a situation wherein everyone seems guilty, but everyone seems innocent, too. “You know, a whole lot of shit could have been avoided if people actually talked about things instead of just covered them up with money and lies. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you ever tell me anything? I can’t even imagine keeping this kind of a secret.”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to tell you. I’ve never known how to tell you. Do you think I really believe a few paragraphs and a check and some flowers actually cut it? That that’s what you deserve after all this? Hell no. But I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’ve never really known what I was doing here. The only guide I’ve ever had was just trying to put myself in my buddy’s shoes in a really tough situation. What would Decker have done if he were here? He would have helped Gemma.”