“That’s totally my goal...to take over the online dating world!” I exclaim, sounding like I’m delivering a Sunday sermon. I decide to tone it down a tad when I ask the next question: “So what’s a good next step for me? For the algorithm?”

“At this stage of the game, you need two main things: capital and beta testers. I wouldn’t worry so much about capital; the idea is solid. Plenty of people I know, including myself, would be willing to back it. So what about your beta testers? What are they saying needs to be tweaked before you go to market?”

“Um...”

“You do have beta testers, right?”

“Um...”

“Let’s try this. You do know what beta testers are, right? People using the app to confirm its functionality and success ratios?”

I mean, yes, I know what beta testers are, but no, I don’t have anyone dabbling with the program right now. While I’m confident that my algorithm is as good as it gets, something in me just isn’t ready to release it into the hands of the wild. But, hell. I’ve used it enough to know all of its ins and outs. Do I really need a focus group?

“Essentially I have been my own test subject for the last three years,” I say, hoping that’s good enough.

“I see. And are you happily married now?” he asks, taking a sip of chai latte. There’s a crumb stuck to his lip and I’m trying hard not to get distracted by it as I dig for an answer that won’t make me sound as flakey as his croissant.

“Me? No, I’m not married. I used to be, but that was before I invented this algorithm.”

“So, then, are you engaged now? To someone new?”

“No. But with every date, I verify through this very program, I can feel myself getting closer to that goal.”

“Interesting. And how many dates have you gone on recently?”

“One last week,” I say, referring to Chad at Monica’s wedding.

Warren takes his circular glasses off and rests them on the table. He rubs his eyes and I can feel his mood shift into something I can only describe as lukewarm. I’m not sure who should speak next.

“So, what do you think? Are there any other questions I can help answer?” I inquire.

“Well, I have to be honest. I’m starting to get a little confused here, Charlotte. Let’s unpack this a bit. You aren’t married, aren’t engaged, and aren’t seriously dating any one particular person. Then last week, you only fashioned yourself one date. But all the while, you’re telling me that this...this piece of programming, which hasn’t been tested by anyone but you, might I add, is the key to a happily-ever-after for everybody else?”

There’s no professional way to rebut a guy like Warren Holmgren, so I stay quiet and let him continue poking holes in what I thought was a perfect piece of tech.

“Also, didn’t you mention that you were married before without the help of this software?”