I laugh, but it comes out shrill above the clamor Will is making. “You’re saying the judge will take a convicted criminal’s word over mine?”

“I don’t know. I can’t say who we’ll get. Hopefully it’ll be Vickers, but … Look, are you doing okay? Is there anything I can help you with? Anything at all?” Morris stands, reaches out for the baby, but I turn my shoulder and take two steps away.

“I’m fine,” I say. “I’ve got this. I’m a natural.”

He waits, watching me. “If you need respite, Alex, you can ask for it. There are budgets in place for that kind of thing.”

“I don’t need it. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Right. Right, okay.” He glances at his wristwatch. “I’ll push off, then. You have the new breast milk, yes? You should probably pop that in the fridge.”

“I’ll get to it.”

“We’ll see you at the office for the conference next week.” He zips up his coat. “It’ll be standard, I’m sure. I didn’t mean to worry you. Everything will be just fine.”

“I know,” I say.

He walks to the door. I don’t see him out.

I’m up at 3:00 a.m. It’s as if Will heard everything Morris said earlier and has decided to add even more pressure. I pace by the bay window, the sky outside dark and shadowy. I’ve warmed up formula for Will in the microwave, but when he sucks at the bottle, his little nostrils flare momentarily—a sign he’s unhappy. Well, it’s the middle of the night, who isn’t unhappy? I stifle a yawn and cast a glance toward the bedroom where Chase is sleeping soundly.

“Come on, Will,” I say. “You’re hungry. You have to eat.”

He’s holding on to that goddamn clothespin. She gave it to him to taunt me, even though letting him grip it is one of the surefire ways to soothe him when he cries. I hate that thing, but whenever I try to prize it from him, his tiny fingers only tighten.

As I watch him, he spits out the nozzle of the bottle. When I try to ease it back into his mouth, he turns his head so that yellow drags of formula streak his cheek. He’s stubborn, his little neck twisting, so I sit him up and pat him for a while on the back. The light is wispy around us, and I feel almost delirious. How long is this going to take? Suddenly I hear footsteps outside our door. Someone taps softly. Who is it at this hour? Is it Sully, coming to tell me he’s on my side after all?