Ciarra’s world was different. Her profession required her to treat Larry like he was the only man left in the world. She had petted and pampered him. She had listened to him talk for hours about himself. She had sucked his cock whenever it was time to leave in order to go in search of her next client. She wasn’t in love with him in any way. Larry had no idea that she already had another child. It wasn’t something that a girl like her brought up in between the role-play and the fuzzy handcuffs. So why had she said yes? It was because of the inescapable heartbreak of her life. It was because she was desperate to square up. This was the best chance she had at any of it, at exiting the game, at escaping the constant tension of survival, at giving Aston the life that he deserved. Love was nothing next to survival. Love was nothing next to the promise of a safety she had never touched in all her life.

From underneath the weight of his arm across her, Ciarra felt her sorrow for Larry rise, and maybe a hint of guilt for the fact that she had lied to him. The father of the child that was now living this abhorrent life inside her was most likely not even his. It could belong to any of the several men she had slept with unprotected. She didn’t plan on keeping the child, even if she married him and so got Aston and herself off of the streets. If push came to shove, she would steal money from him to get the abortion when he was away at work one day and tell him that she had lost the baby.

The paradoxical gratitude and disgust she felt for Larry stirred like gossamer spice in her chest when she kissed him goodbye and promised to call him the next day. He blew her kisses as she walked away from him. She boarded a city bus and rode it to the bus stop closest to the car lot. The sinking feeling she had felt in her heart when she said yes to marrying Larry had been displaced by heartening thoughts of the way hers and Aston’s life would improve. She jogged toward the car lot, excited to tell Aston about their sudden turn of fortune. Excited to tell him about the fact that soon, he would live in a real house.