Ciarra couldn’t find it in herself to be a mother. The agony of being left to fend for the both of them and the deprivation of having no support made it impossible for her to comfort Aston, who she knew was sitting on his own just outside the door. She knew it wasn’t fair to him. She also knew he hated her for it. But she couldn’t blame him because no matter what she said, she knew that she deserved it. She hated herself for it, too. There was nothing more painful than knowing she had to be a mother, but not feeling capable of being one. It was always the same. She hated herself for thinking that today would be any different. How many times had they been through this? He would stroll into their lives unpredictably, promising that this time would be different. But it never was. They would never be a family again, not that they ever were. But Ciarra couldn’t stop herself from hoping that, by some miracle, their dysfunctional liaisons would transform into the picture she had in her head of a white picket fence and meals together at the dinner table.

Ciarra dreaded the aftermath. She knew that she couldn’t take Aston to school that week. She had made the excuse that he had fallen or gotten into some kind of accident one too many times. She also dreaded how her father would react. Mike would come back to find Aston bruised and battered, and he’d lecture her, like he always did, about her poor choices in life and how unfit she was to be a mother. She couldn’t face it. So instead, she decided to take Aston away.

Aria watched Ciarra get out of the van and grab his arm to come with her as if he were in trouble. She watched her pick him up and walk straight out of the car lot and disappear down the adjacent street. Ciarra wouldn’t return for over a week, staying with one of the other girls who worked for the same pimp until she ran out of money and had to rely on Mike to watch Aston again. It had happened before. It would happen again.

Aria felt the all-too-familiar seduction of her usual way of coping with emotions at times like this. She tried for a while to defy it until she couldn’t do so any longer. She needed the release. The release of pain.