I have a dream about my mother dying. She is in my arms, after a brief but intense agony. She has fallen on her back and hit her head. Just before, we were talking about one of my trips. Her skin color changes suddenly: it is bright, shiny, almost electric, and then, suddenly, it turns pale. She is completely nude, and her skin is ashen. Everything in her has darkened. This happens in the kitchen of her own house, next to the small table where Luisa, my parent’s Tzutuhil servant, eats. I bend over to pick her up in my arms. In a few seconds she has lost a horrible amount of weight. I want to take her to the living room. I run into Magalí in the hallway and we get into an absurd argument about where we should lay her to rest. We decide to take her to her room. I keep talking to her, carrying her in my arms. She has closed her eyes. I say to her, “My love, my sweet love,” and I know she is dying. By the time we arrive in her room, she has died. I wake up in sobs.

Midmorning.

I call Benedicto Tun again. He tells me he has found several rulings that he thinks might be of interest to me and several cassette tapes with something that his father was preparing for a History of the National Police. He suggests that we come up with a “firm plan”: He gives me an appointment at his office for next Tuesday afternoon. He asks me if I can bring a cassette player, as he does not have one. After hanging up the phone, I go check; I have one in my studio that I could loan him.

I call the chief’s cell phone. He does not answer, and his mailbox is full.

Afternoon.

I go pick up Pía from her catechism session at San Judas Tadeo church. There are a dozen bodyguards in the parking lot, who accompany four or five “anguished mothers” (two of them, stunning), who are also there to pick up their children.

Pages Attached to the Fourth Notebook

PAGES ATTACHED TO THE FOURTH NOTEBOOK

At my parents’, after lunch.

The press is carrying two news items related to the Archive and another one related to the National Civil Police.

1) One month after the “cave-in” in Zone 6, no one is taking responsibility for those who lost their homes, nor is there any support whatsoever for the relatives of the deceased. The sinkhole continues to widen and the danger continues to grow, affecting the buildings surrounding the Archive.