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Back How to Disappear Completely Save as PDF
Chapters (58)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. Acknowledgments
  56. About the Author
  57. Back Ad
  58. About the Publisher

Notice how she didn’t exactly answer my question?

Yeah. Me, too.

I get dressed as fast as I can. Everyone is still gone when I pull the curtain back again. The door is open a crack, though, and I peer out.

They’re all standing in the hall. Dad’s arms are crossed against his chest as Dr. Howard speaks. Mom’s eyebrows are knitted tightly together. Then Dr. Howard says something, and I see Mom’s mouth drop into a little round O.

I can read that shape as easy as words.

It’s O as in Oh, No.

O as in Uh-Oh.

Or like vitilig-O.

image 14 image

Frequently Asked Questions about Vitiligo

My hands shake as I read the pamphlet for the third time. Rain beats down against the windshield, and Dad has the wipers going full speed as we turn off the highway.

What Is Vitiligo?

Vitiligo is a common condition that causes depigmentation of the skin. It occurs when an overactive immune system begins attacking the cells that create pigment, or color, in the skin. The condition generally begins as small pale spots, often on the hands, feet, or face. These spots can grow into larger spots and merge with others to create patches of pale skin. Spots or patches often form symmetrical patterns on the body, so a person with vitiligo on her right arm is likely to have it in roughly the same place on her left.

Dr. Howard said I was right about the spots on my toes and around my elbows and also above my eyebrows. She found one on the back of my neck that I hadn’t noticed before, too. My face is the part I’m most worried about. I can hide my knees behind jeans for most of the year and my neck behind my hair. And arms are just arms. But my face . . . is my face. My face.

Except it doesn’t really feel like mine anymore.

How Did I Get Vitiligo?

As with many autoimmune diseases, it’s unknown what causes some people to develop vitiligo, though it is suspected that there can be a genetic factor, and it can be triggered by stress.

Dr. Howard explained that a “genetic factor” means that vitiligo can sometimes run in families. Dad reaches a hand over and rubs my back. He doesn’t have vitiligo. Nobody in my family has vitiligo. And Lily’s the one who is stressing over all her college applications, not me. So why am I the one who got it?

Is Vitiligo Dangerous or Painful?

Vitiligo rarely causes symptoms besides skin whitening. It is not painful, dangerous, or contagious. However, the condition causes many sufferers psychological distress, which can lead to social anxiety or depression. Therefore, it should not be considered simply a “cosmetic” condition.

My eyes keep floating back to the sentence about psychological distress. (Which can lead to social anxiety or depression.)

I really wish they’d left that part out.