“It is. I should have known better, but I took the chance anyway.”

“We can still…”

“We cannot,” he said, his voice cold.

“You won’t even let me finish? You won’t even fight for me?”

“I’m letting you go before the curse kills you,” he said, crossing his arms, guarding himself from her. “My feelings matter little if your life is in danger. We will still work together. I promise to help you with training and get you to pass the flying test when we return, but that’s it.”

She choked on a sob. “Fordham, I don’t want this to happen.”

His shoulders bunched. “It doesn’t matter what we want,” he said and then left the room.

Tears stung her eyes. She balled her hands into fists and tried not to cry. She didn’t even hear as Darby came back into the room. Just felt her wrapping her up tight and holding her as it all came unraveled.

45

The Heart

CLOVER

“Holy gods, did you hear what happened to Kerrigan?” Hadrian asked the minute he stepped into the house he shared with his mentor, Fallon.

Clover frowned. “No, she’s not even back yet.”

“She got back today,” Hadrian said.

He patted the seat next to him, and she crossed the room to sit at his side. Fallon was gone for the afternoon, which meant they had the entire time all to themselves. She should have been dealing in the Wastes, but she’d ditched when she got the message from Hadrian.

It wasn’t love. That was what she kept telling herself as she shirked her responsibilities to end up in his arms. It was just a fun thing to pass the time. It wasn’t because he’d saved her life and they’d huddled together in that sewer for hours with only each other for company.

That wasn’t the first time she’d endured something like that. Unlike Hadrian. When everything had come crumbling down around her when she was younger, she’d only had herself to rely on. Now, she had Hadrian. It filled a void that she hadn’t known she was missing.

But it wasn’t love.

A hundred percent not love.

His lips trailed down her jawline. “You stopped listening.”

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“She had some blackout at the court after an argument with March.”

“Ew, March,” Clover grumbled. “How did Fordham take it?”

“I didn’t hear that much. Just the gossip.”

“I’m worried for Red, especially after her arrest. Maybe I should go check on her.”

He kissed her collarbone. “Or you could check on her after you leave.”

She laughed and pushed him away. “You’re insatiable.”

His blue hair stuck up in a perfectly tousled way. Those big brown eyes staring straight through her. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Clove.”

“That right, sweetheart?” she teased. “You should slum it more often.”