“Shavuot commemorates the acceptance of the Torah by the Jewish people, and the Book of Ruth describes the acceptance of the Torah by a single person, Ruth.

“As I become bat mitzvah now, I am no longer a child: The laws of the Torah are on my own shoulders, not my parents anymore. As I forge my identity in my journey toward being an adult, I too will make decisions about my beliefs and my commitment to my Judaism. And about who I am as a person.”

I know my speech by heart, but I glance down at my notes, both for dramatic effect and also to steady myself before I go into this next part. “I’ve always worried a lot about what I have to offer—if like in the mitzvah of the lulav and etrog on Succot, I am like the willow—with no taste and smell. That I have nothing that makes me special.”

I see my mother looking at me intently.

“I realized though that I do have taste and smell—and hopefully not bad ones.” I smile at the appreciative laughter I knew to pause for. “But also I realized that my friends and family love me for who I am—my presence is important to them in and of itself.” I smile again.

“There is one more thing I would like to say about names. Although Ruth is my Jewish name, in Hebrew, Milla could mean ‘word,’ or it could mean ‘mi lah,’ ‘who is for her?’ Rabbi Hillel famously said in Pirkei Avot: ‘im ein ani li, mi li?’: ‘If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, when?’

“ ‘Mi lah?’ ‘Who is for her?’ I have to have self-confidence and independence as I mature. But if I am only looking out for myself, what kind of person am I?” I pause for another minute to search in the audience for Mrs. Kanin, the salesperson from What Goes Around. I found out that all of What Goes Around’s merchandise is donated and the money the store makes from selling it goes to charity. So I’ve been volunteering there once a week for my mitzvah project. And even though Honey doesn’t believe me, now that I’ve gotten to know Mrs. Kanin—who’s a volunteer herself—I think she’s actually pretty nice. She sees me catch her eye now and smiles back.

I suddenly realize I have almost come to the end of my speech. My stomach has been calm throughout, but it quickens again for a moment.

“Between being ‘for yourself’ and being ‘for others’ is a delicate balance,” I say, gearing up for the finish but making sure I still say each word carefully and with kavanah—intention. “And when things need to be balanced, they often tip one way too much or the other too much until you figure it out. I have learned this year that mistakes are how you build yourself, how you find that balance, how you learn who you are, and what your values are.”