Chapters (56)
- Cover
- Dedication
- 1.1 [close to the bone]
- 1.2 [and introducing...]
- 1.3 [half-split]
- 1.4 [the Semple challenge]
- 1.5 [Brickpower]
- 2.1 [shaker up]
- 2.2 [heavyweight]
- 2.3 [♀]
- 2.4 [hired hand]
- 3.1 [wheels and deals]
- 3.2 [don’t cry over spilled ...]
- 3.3 [three’s a crowd]
- 3.4 [“If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)” or “Night of the Long Knives,” take your pick]
- 4.1 [all the comforts of home]
- 4.2 [white knight]
- 4.3 [pay dirt]
- 4.4 [book learning]
- 5.1 [AQ]
- 5.2 [kihon, kata, kumite]
- 5.3 [pride and prejudice]
- 5.4 [hurt and humiliation]
- 5.5 [“King of the Road”]
- 6.1 [“Father and Son”]
- 6.2 [nothing succeeds like success]
- 6.3 [naked]
- 6.4 [nakeder (I know, there’s no such word)]
- 7.1 [42 km/hr]
- 7.2 [first aid]
- 7.3 [interest is mounting daily]
- 8.1 [kiai]
- 8.2 [kumite (sparring)]
- 8.3 [white knight II]
- 8.4 [Hope is the thing with feathers—that perches in the soul ... Emily Dickinson. American poet, 1830–86. I’m showing off.]
- 9.1 [white knight III]
- 9.2 [“Dead Man Walking”]
- 9.3 [tattletale]
- 9.4 [scat]
- 9.5 [painstaking]
- 10.1 [buzzed]
- 10.2 [amethyst: spiritual calm and healing]
- 10.3 [self-defense]
- 10.4 [self-disclosure]
- 11.1 [self-respect]
- 11.2 [guerrilla warfare]
- 11.3 [Sensei (teacher)]
- 11.4 [“The Razor’s Edge”]
- 12.1 [man to man]
- 12.2 [Tully]
- 12.3 [Hockey Night in Hilchey Bay]
- 12.4 [“If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)”]
- 12.5 [rerun]
- 12.6 [“the end is the beginning ...” Japanese koan composed by Brickson MacAvoy]
- [author’s note]
- [acknowledgements]
First thing you know I’ll be back in school. The bus picks me up early, drops me off late. Not much time for running or karate. I’ll get out of shape.
Panic streaks along my nerves. I can’t do this. I can’t.
When Floyd comes home from work, I’m head and shoulders in the mudroom closet, where I’m searching for Cassie’s flip-flops. He knocks me sideways and twists my arm behind my back until my shoulder feels like it’s coming out of its socket. Has he ever googled dislocation?
Don’t cry, don’t give him the satisfaction.
Instead I make these guttural noises—easy enough to do and just enough to keep him happy. When he lets go, my eyes are dry. I do my best to keep any hint of victory from showing.
He says, “That was just a warm-up. There’s more to come. I’ll keep you posted.” Lines in his face I haven’t noticed before— deep lines, like gouges.
An insight zings through my brain. He’s stepped up the pace the last week or so because he’s afraid he’s losing control.
Floyd afraid? Better than winning Lotto 6/49.
12.1 [man to man]
SUNDAY AFTERNOON, I phone Marigold to see if I can leave Cassie there the following afternoon while I’m at my lesson.
“I’d love to see her,” Marigold says. “It’s been a while.”
Guess it has. Time goes fast when you’re having fun. The bruise on my cheek has mostly faded. Truth is, it was convenient. I’m scared to see Tully again in case she’s changed her mind. About our date. About me.
She’s not around when I deliver Cassie.
But when I push open the glass door of the dojo after the lesson, Rolf is standing there. My heart jolts in my chest. “Is something wrong with Cassie?”
“She’s good.”
I don’t look my best. T-shirt soaked in sweat, wet bandanna around my forehead. Head ringing with instructions, a big jabber of Japanese and English.
Rolf says, “You got a couple minutes?”
“I have to pick Cassie up from your place, that’s all.”
“She can stay for supper. Let’s go sit down.”
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I gotta talk to you.”
The block hasn’t been invented that would work against Rolf Langille; if I take off, he’ll just wait for me at his place.
The mall anchored some tables and chairs near three fake fig trees and a fountain they never turn on. I sprawl on one of the chairs. It’s plastic. Uncomfortable. Malls have this thing about loitering.