I flopped back onto my pillow. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I knew Dad was still sitting on my bed like he did when I was younger, waiting for me to fall asleep, but I was so tired I couldn’t even say good night.

It was nice having him there, and knowing that Sky was asleep on the other side of the wall. Mimi and Nans and Grandpa were all in the house, all of us together, one big circle.

I pulled my blanket tighter, and as my eyelids fluttered, all I saw were shades of blue.

Chapter Twelve A New Beginning

And just like that, before I knew it, it was the first day of middle school. It was still pretty warm, so I just put on a short-sleeved purple T-shirt that Mimi had bought for me, a silver bangle bracelet, and a new pair of jeans. I wanted to look nice and fresh, but I didn’t want to get super dressed up or make too big a deal out of it.

“Well, don’t you look beautiful!” Nans said, as I sat down at the kitchen table.

She plopped down a plate of homemade pancakes (my favorite) in front of me, and I saw she had made a smiley face with syrup.

I laughed. “Thanks, Nans,” I said as I dug into the pancakes.

She was still staring at me. “Yes,” she said, nodding approvingly. “You look perfect. Lovely, but not overly done.”

I smiled at her. “That’s just what I was going for,” I told her.

Then I added, “You remembered Mom used to make pancakes on the first day of school.” Nans nodded.

“And she would always say the same thing to me,” I said. “She used to tell me to have a great day, and to remember to always be my ‘own special self.’ It felt a little silly when she kept saying it as I got older, but by then it was sort of like a first-day-of-school tradition, and she had to say it. I made her say it.”

I smiled at the memory, but then I was startled to look up and see Nans’s eyes filling with tears.

Oh no! That was the last thing I wanted.

Luckily, just at that moment, Skylar came bounding into the kitchen.

“Oh boy, pancakes!” he yelled. “Awesome!”

Nans dried her eyes and put a plate in front of him. She tried to lighten the subject.

“What did your mom say to Skylar on the first day of school?” she asked.

I grinned. “Keep your mouth closed when you eat.”

Nans laughed.

When I walked through the doors of Bellgrove Middle School, I paused in front of the mural that my mom’s students had made in her honor.

I had been worried that seeing it every day would make me sad, but I actually felt really happy when I saw it.