Lord help her. He was a Sinclair, her enemy, a monster she was supposed to kill. And yet her body, mind, and maybe even her soul had forgotten all of that during the kiss. It hadn’t been merely a kiss. It had been a carnal tempest that caused her to betray a decade’s worth of hating the boy who’d looked upon her with disgust.

The look was about his father’s lies.

They reached the bottom where the smell of roasted pheasant penetrated her twisting thoughts, and her nearly empty stomach suddenly didn’t care about her inner turmoil. It was definitely time to eat.

Joshua raised his tankard in salute. “Ye managed to get her downstairs without waiting for her to pass out from starvation. Congratulations.”

Cain leaned near Ella’s ear. “See, an irritating arse. Ye do not want to kill me and be stuck wed to him.”

Her breath caught, and she watched him walk toward a maid to whom he spoke. The maid hurried off, and Cain looked to Ella. “She will bring ye some of the last meal, pheasant and turnips with oat bannocks.” He looked pointedly at her. “Eat every bit of it.” Joshua set his tankard down and followed Cain when he tipped his head toward the entryway.

“I can take ye to the kitchen. It will be faster than waiting for Joan to bring something up,” Hannah said.

Would the gentle Hannah hate her for killing her brother? Of course she would. Ella breathed deeply, pushing the thoughts away. “Good,” she said and forced her lips into a smile. “I was hoping to see more of Girnigoe.” Ella followed her through the archway, but instead of turning up the steps, they continued down a corridor.

Maybe she could poison the brothers all at once so there wouldn’t be anyone to avenge them or take over right away. It would certainly throw the clan into chaos. But would the cook be killed if the clan suspected her treachery? Ella’s stomach pinched. Obviously, the damning thoughts were not easily put aside.

“I wish to ask ye something,” Hannah said softly.

Murder. It would be murder to poison someone or kill them while they slept. But was it murder if she saved her clan by doing so? Would the deaths of the four horsemen really save her clan?

“Hew Mackay…” Hannah started.

Ella blinked, turning to face the woman. “Yes?”

“He did not… Ye were not raped by him, were ye?” she whispered.

“No.” Ella shook her head, and the girl’s shoulders softened.

“Did he bed ye like he said?”

“No, like I said.”

“Why did he lie that he had?” Hannah asked, her brows bent inward.

Ella’s lips pinched tightly. “I do not know. Perhaps in some misguided attempt to save me from marrying Cain.”

“That would be foolish,” Hannah said. “Cain would have just killed him, and ye would be free to wed.”