That realization brought the mantle of his priesthood upon him once again—and the reminder that he had, for a time, actually forgotten his suspension. Further, his discovery of Richenda’s Deryniness had brought back the other conflict that had warred within him for so many years. In appealing to him as priest, she had also struck the part of him that was Deryni. Could he reconcile the two at last? Who was he, really?

Very well, he was Deryni, first and foremost. He had been born that and had lived with that identity for nearly thirty years. The fact that it had been hidden from the outside world until recently had no real bearing on his present dilemma. He was Deryni.

But, what of his priesthood? He had been under technical suspension for several months now, and had obeyed that suspension since burying his brother at Culdi. Further, he had been cleared of the excommunication imposed upon him for his actions at Saint Torin’s—in fact, had never really been excommunicated at all, so far as many of the bishops were concerned.

But where did he stand as a priest? Was it, perhaps, possible that he could reconcile the two identities and be both, despite the ancient bans to the contrary? Could he continue to function both as priest and as Deryni?

He glanced at Arilan and considered the possibility. From the time he had taken his first vows, there had never been any doubt in his mind that his calling to the priesthood was genuine, or that he had been a good priest. And Bishop Arilan—Arilan seemed to have none of the doubts that had always nagged at Duncan’s conscience about the compatibility of the two identities, though the Deryni bishop had been careful to protect himself for many years, Duncan noted, so that the union of the two identities be not unduly endangered.

What was it that Arilan had said?—that he and Duncan were the only Deryni priests to be ordained since the Restoration, at least so far as Arilan knew. And there was certainly no doubt in Duncan’s mind that Arilan believed in his calling, considered himself a true servant of God. Duncan had always sensed the aura of sanctity about the man, from their first meeting nearly six years ago. There was no doubt in his mind that Arilan was faithful to his priestly vows, that his ordination was valid. Why should Duncan’s be any less valid, merely because he, too, was Deryni? Seeing Arilan’s example, why should Duncan not function as a priest and Deryni?

He glanced down at Richenda again as she stirred against his shoulder and saw that she was drying her eyes, had finally composed herself. But before he could speak, she turned wide blue eyes on him and searched his face.

“I shall be all right now, Father. I know that I cannot expect forgiveness for what I have done, but will you hear my confession anyway? It may make it easier to live with myself.”