He wanted to say that falling for someone was always risky. People fell all the time without consideration or plans, and they dealt with the consequences after they stood and brushed themselves off. How could she not see that they were falling together? How could she not understand that falling wasn’t the same as failing? “But that’s a relationship,” John eventually murmured.

“And I might not be ready for one,” she said.

She’s slipping away.

“We’re already in one, Victoria.”

Upon hearing this, she backed away from him and wiped her hands on her jeans. She was looking for a way out. The frantic look in her eyes read frightened prey animal. “I uh... I need to leave,” she breathed.

“You don’t have to,” John said.

“I have to keep things straight,” she said in a shaky voice. “And I can’t do that when I’m with you.”

It crushed him to hear those words leave her mouth, but he knew they were true. He couldn’t malign her for telling the truth. “Please...”

Victoria quickly walked to the door. “Let’s talk about this later,” she said briskly. With her back turned, he heard the sniffle and saw the discreet move to wipe her face. “I’ll call you later.”

When she left his office, she closed the door with a barely audible click. It was emblematic of her character. Despite a sudden rush of emotions threatening to crush her, she chose to remain quiet. He could admire her stoicism to a certain point, but now seemed to be an idiotic time for her to run away from her feelings, from him. John let her go for her own self-preservation, but regretted hearing the softness of the door closing. It wasn’t a bang, but a pitiful whimper. So much for the nudge...

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Dear Professor Reese:

Attached, is a full description of Student Librarian duties.

John Donovan

Simple and perfunctory, just the way Victoria usually liked it. But the pain in her stomach told her otherwise. He’d given her what she wanted, but he was clearly very angry. She reread the short message several times, noting the shift from “Dr. Reese” to “Professor Reese.” Even that small change was a sucker punch to the gut. There was no warmth in this message, only business.

“Girl, you look like death warmed over in Tupperware.”

Victoria looked up from her computer screen to find Paula standing in the doorway of her office. Between the two of them, Paula appeared to be the one who got better sleep last night. Today’s T-shirt was a tribute to Blanche Deveraux. Another editing pencil was tucked in her afro, right above her ear. Effortless cuteness was Paula’s brand. Victoria, on the other hand, was certain she looked how she felt: exhausted. “What do you want, Paula?”

Her friend’s brow shot up in confusion. “Okay, what’s your problem?”