The moment the door closed behind me, I had to pause and take a deep breath. I was in the same apartment as Ryan. He was so close. All I had to do was walk into his bedroom and climb into bed with him. I could feel his hard body pressed against mine, let his warmth and strength soak into me and soothe the ache that was always present inside my chest.

Tears blinded me for a minute, making it impossible to focus on my surroundings.

But I wasn’t there for Ryan. Cali and Justice needed me, so I had to hurry and get back.

Pressing my fists to my eyes, I counted to ten and pushed away from the door. Silently, I crept through the apartment toward Garret’s bedroom. But I couldn’t help myself and veered toward Ryan’s door instead.

My hand pressed against the wood, wanting to absorb his energy. It wasn’t enough, though, and before I could stop myself, I twisted the knob. His scent hit me as soon as the door cracked open an inch. I inhaled slowly and deeply, basking in the smell of the man who was supposed to be mine. My legs started to tremble, and the pain in my foot seemed to disappear as I stepped into the room.

He shifted on the bed, turning from his back to his side. One of his hands rubbed over the empty space beside him, searching for something. When he came up empty, he moaned in his sleep. “Nova,” he muttered.

Without thinking, I crossed to the bed. I just wanted a closer look, I tried to tell myself. That was all I would do, just look.

The closer I got, the more I could make out something on his arm. I’d noticed it a few times while watching him on the cameras, but I’d never been able to get a close enough look at what he’d inked into his skin.

The glow of the city provided plenty of light to see by when I was standing directly over him. The moment I realized what I was looking at, all my anger seemed to turn to smoke and fade away.

Ryan really hadn’t abandoned me. The fact that he was carrying me with him everywhere was proof enough of that. Blinking back my tears, I slipped into bed behind him. The moment my hands slid around him from behind, he let out a pained moan. “Nova,” he breathed.

I pressed a kiss to the center of his back. “I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered.

“Miss you, baby.” He released a heavy sigh, falling into an even deeper sleep.

Five minutes. That was all I allowed myself to have with him before I remembered Cali and Justice. Carefully, I slid from the bed, silently promising that I would see Ryan again soon. Leaving his room was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, but there was a tiny baby depending on me.