“But you already saved yourself,” she argued, her eyes narrowing. “Which you haven’t fully explained.”

“And I’m not going to. The less you know, the better.” I pushed back from the table and stood. “Once the baby is born, and Cali is back on her feet, we can revisit this conversation. Until then, I’ve got too much on my plate to worry about anything or anyone else.” I started to turn away, but I paused and glanced down at her. “If you miss Dad so much, I won’t ask you to stay. You’ve already made such an impact, Mom. And I’m truly thankful for it. If it weren’t for you, Cali may never have agreed to come here, and I would have lost both her and the baby. You’re not a prisoner here. You can go home whenever you want. Just say the word, and I’ll have Guzman escort you back to California.”

“I’m where I need to be,” Mom said with a small smile. “My girls are more important than anyone else at the moment. I miss your dad, but he can wait a little longer before I let him know where I am.”

“If you change your mind, just let me or Guzman know.” I bent and hugged her. “Thank you for being here.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d want to be, sweetheart.”

As I walked back to Cali’s room, everything Mom told me replayed in my head. Just thinking about some of the things she’d confided in me made me shudder. I felt sick at the idea of the sight Ryan must have seen, how it must have destroyed him to think that it was me…

No, I berated myself. I wasn’t going to weaken. He might have thought that body was mine, but when I called, he should have known it was me. He should…

I paused down the hall from Cali’s room. Leaning against a wall, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes against the fluorescent lights above me. Tears stung my eyes, and I tried in vain to hold them back, but a few still leaked from the corners.

Was I being too unforgiving? Just hearing some of what Ryan must have experienced that night turned my stomach. I couldn’t imagine what he must have felt when he saw such a grotesque sight. All this time, I thought Cali was right with the whole “out of sight, out of mind” bullshit. My anger had twisted me up inside, and I’d made myself forget what my Ryan was really like.

Ryan Vitucci loved me more than anything or anyone in the world. He wouldn’t just abandon me. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t call me back after all those messages I’d left him, but it couldn’t have been because he’d moved on or even forgotten about me.

Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I hesitated with my thumb over his contact information. I missed him so much. Maybe if I just heard his voice, I would—