“He…” I leaned back against the divan cushions and fixed my gaze on the bookshelf. “A few days ago he said I need a purpose in my life, and he’s right. This hunt—this quest—it’s made me feel…” A small smile. “I’d say ‘alive,’ if that didn’t sound so silly.”

“It doesn’t.”

“In a way, ‘alive’ really does make sense. Since I died, I’ve been…well, ‘dead,’ hovering in limbo, obsessing about my daughter, surfacing now and then to see Kristof, but he’s been the only thing that brings me out of it. I need more than that, and he knows it. I need a job.” I laughed. “Isn’t that rich? Spent my life proud of the fact that I never held a proper job, never paid a dime in income taxes, and now that I’m dead, that’s exactly what I want.”

Trsiel smiled. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but angels don’t pay taxes. Don’t collect a salary, either.”

“You know what I mean.”

“You want a purpose, and you think this might be it. Your calling.”

I made a gagging noise.

He grinned. “Okay, career, not calling. But there’s still the problem with Kristof. Obviously he means a lot to you…”

“And in taking his advice and taking this ‘job,’ I might screw things up completely. Become an angel, and I’ll finally realize my dream of being able to protect Savannah. Instead of finding a new purpose in my life, I might be opening the door to furthering that obsession. So what could be the best thing for me might end up being the worst. If that happens, Kris is gone. Guy’s got the tenacity of a bulldog, but even a bulldog eventually realizes it’s latched onto something it’ll never pull free.”

Trsiel said nothing. When I glanced over, he was just staring at me.

“You don’t know, do you?” he said softly.

“Don’t know what?”

“When you ascend…Eve, you can’t…” He rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

“When you ascend, you have to break all ties with the ghost world.”

The room seemed to darken and tilt.

“You mean, I couldn’t live there, right?” I said slowly. “I’d have to move up here or something, but I could still visit the ghost world—”

“I mean you’d have to leave. Forever.”

I don’t know what I said next. I felt my lips moving, heard something like words coming from them, vaguely saw Trsiel nod and say something in return, then felt myself recite a transportation code. The room darkened, then disappeared.

Chapter 37

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