THE NIX SAT ON A BARSTOOL, STARING AT THE BOTTLE of Scotch. Close enough to touch—to drink. In the old days, she’d never have considered such a thing. But now she was reduced to this, staring at a bottle of alcohol, imagining the burn of it down her throat, the pleasant numbing amnesia that followed.

She’d been inside plenty of partners with memories they’d wanted to forget, and most had indulged in alcohol to do it. She’d always despised them for such weakness. She’d suffered through the effects, with gritted teeth, hating every moment that her thoughts were dulled. And now she could think of nothing better than to partake of that same temporary oblivion.

She concentrated and reached for the bottle. Her fingers passed through the glass, through the amber liquid, leaving not so much as a drop of it on her skin. Once she’d have roared in frustration, cursed every demon she could name for not freeing her from this spirit prison. Now she only moaned and sank into her seat.

She hadn’t fed properly since Dachev had left her. Oh, she’d taken partners, dined on her share of chaos, but it hadn’t been the same. She’d come halfway around the world in search of something better, and hadn’t found it. Every new partner was but a wretched substitute for him.

There would never be another like Andrei Dachev. A true partner of the soul. Though only a supernatural shade—and from an inferior race, at that—he’d understood the power of death and chaos the way only a demon usually could. More than that, he’d appreciated the craft of chaos more than most demons, and he’d opened her mind to possibilities she’d never considered, to the true beauty of physical and mental suffering.

He’d been content to watch, but they’d always talked of finding a way, not only to bring him inside her partners, but to impose their will on those partners, to force them to carry out Dachev’s visionary ideas. Had they accomplished that, the Nix knew she would have felt an emotion she’d never experienced: happiness. The happiness of complete satisfaction.

If only she hadn’t betrayed him.

She betrayed all her partners eventually, for that final satisfaction of seeing them fall. She’d told herself that was the reason she’d turned on Dachev, because she was so accustomed to doing so that she had acted without thinking. The truth was far more unforgivable. She had betrayed Dachev because she’d tasted another emotion she’d never encountered before: fear.