Nick Toczek

Mad Gardener’s Song

Mad Gardener’s Song

He thought he saw an Elephant,

That practised on a fife:

He looked again, and found it was

A letter from his wife.

‘At length I realize,’ he said,

‘The bitterness of Life!’

He thought he saw a Buffalo

Upon the chimney-piece:

He looked again, and found it was

His Sister’s Husband’s Niece.

‘Unless you leave this house,’ he said,

‘I’ll send for the Police!’

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake

That questioned him in Greek:

He looked again, and found it was

The Middle of Next Week.

‘The one thing I regret,’ he said,

‘Is that it cannot speak!’

He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk

Descending from the bus:

He looked again, and found it was

A Hippopotamus:

‘If this should stay to dine,’ he said,

‘There won’t be much for us!’

He thought he saw a Kangaroo

That worked a coffee-mill:

He looked again, and found it was

A Vegetable-Pill.

‘Were I to swallow this,’ he said,

‘I should be very ill!’

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four

That stood beside his bed:

He looked again, and found it was

A Bear without a Head.

‘Poor thing,’ he said, ‘poor silly thing!

‘It’s waiting to be fed!’

Lewis Carroll

The Blind Men and the Elephant

The Blind Men and the Elephant

It was six men of Hindostan,

To learning much inclined,

Who went to see the elephant,

(Though all of them were blind);

That each by observation

Might satisfy his mind.

The first approached the elephant,

And happening to fall

Against his broad and sturdy side,

At once began to bawl,

‘Bless me, it seems the elephant

Is very like a wall.’

The second, feeling of his tusk,

Cried, ‘Ho! what have we here

So very round and smooth and sharp?

To me ’tis mighty clear

This wonder of an elephant

Is very like a spear.’

The third approached the animal,

And happening to take

The squirming trunk within his hands,

Then boldly up and spake;

‘I see,’ quoth he, ‘the elephant

Is very like a snake.’

The fourth stretched out his eager hand

And felt about the knee,

‘What most this mighty beast is like

Is mighty plain,’ quoth he;

‘’Tis clear enough the elephant

Is very like a tree.’

The fifth who chanced to touch the ear

Said, ‘Even the blindest man

Can tell what this resembles most;

Deny the fact who can,

This marvel of an elephant

Is very like a fan.’

The sixth no sooner had begun

About the beast to grope

Than, seizing on the swinging tail

That fell within his scope,

‘I see,’ cried he, ‘the elephant

Is very like a rope.’

And so these men of Hindostan

Disputed loud and long,

Each of his own opinion

Exceeding stiff and strong,

Though each was partly in the right,

And all were in the wrong!

John Godfrey Saxe

Mr McGuire

Mr McGuire