As I lie there absorbing their presence, there is a wild expansion inside in my breast. It happens so quickly that I grasp at my chest, struggling through a breath.

I think I might be in love.

I think I might be in love…with us.

Maybe that’s why the feeling is so huge. It’s for four people, not one. I’m in love with who I am when I’m with these men. I’m in love with who they’ve become for me. How they imbue me with confidence and protectiveness and power.

Oh mama. I need a deep breath.

Also, I need to get out of this bed before Tobias tries to use that morning wood on me. Not before I get some corn flakes or a bagel. Or a shower. I’ve been licked up one side and down the other. Been sweaty and sweated on. I wouldn’t erase a single moment of last night, but it’s time for some coffee and soap. Not necessarily in that order.

I gently extricate myself from everyone’s clutches and tiptoe out of the bedroom. After retrieving my overnight bag from the living room, I lock myself in the bathroom—and halleluiah, it’s clean. I stand under the hot spray while scenes from the previous evening flash like a strobe light behind my eyelids. Tobias’s head thrown back in bliss, his chest flexed and covered in scratch marks. Gabe’s breath puffing in and out against my neck while he took me from behind, Tobias coaching him on how to last longer. Banks making love to me slowly with his hand over my mouth to trap my moans while the other two were sleeping.

Yeah. The sex is…I don’t think a word exists to describe the sex, but I’ll try.

Fulfilling.

Empowering.

Satisfying.

Elevating.

Cardio.

But it’s the quiet moments in between, too. It’s Banks laughing at Tobias’s jokes when I never thought I would witness such a moment in a million years. It’s Gabe explaining his recipe for tortellini soup, leading to a conversation about the best meals we’ve ever had. It’s me pulling up a stupid video on my phone, four heads gathering close to watch the screen in the dark and all of us dissolving into hysterics over it.

I think we might be good for each other.

Amazing, actually.

I think all of us sensed something powerful here all along and I’m the only one who has been in denial. I’m finding it harder and harder to remain there after last night.

My soul is lighter. Maybe they’re each carrying a little piece of it.

After getting dressed and putting on some light makeup, I leave the bathroom for the kitchen. When I set down my bag and hear the thunk of my laptop, the problem that sent me to Gabe’s house in the first place comes back in a massive rush. Right. It’s possible I’ve made myself the enemy of a corrupt politician and an equally corrupt union boss.

I shoot a quick text to Shayna to make sure she’s still somewhere secure and she replies with a thumbs up. Safe to say she’s not thrilled with me at the moment, but who could blame her? Next I open my laptop on the kitchen table and do a quick scan of my email.