I walked into the house without a word. I kicked the boots from my feet and trudged off to my bedroom. The room was dark; as usual Joel had gone to bed hours earlier. I took off my pants, then climbed under the covers. The prospect of sleeping seemed ridiculous. I felt sick to my stomach. I wished I could vomit the whole night away.

I suddenly became aware of Joel’s breathing. I don’t know why but the sound filled me with rage. After a minute Joel said softly, “Did they take her?”

For a moment I couldn’t speak. All the rage and fear and anger twisted my mind into a horrible, tight knot. Then I exploded, throwing back my covers and glaring wild-eyed at my little brother.

“You told them! You said you’d never tell and you did!”

Even in the dark I could see his eyes, wide and frightened. “No I didn’t. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“You’re a liar!” I hissed. “And she’s going to get hurt. Do you know what her father will do to her? And it’s all your fault.”

His voice cracked. “I didn’t tell anyone, Eric. I promise.”

Deep in my heart I knew he was telling the truth, but my heart wasn’t in control. “I’m never going to talk to you again. Never. I hate you.”

My words fell off into silence. I could hear Joel softly crying beneath his covers, whimpering over and over, “I didn’t do it.”

I had committed my second act of treason of the night.

CHAPTER Thirty-five

I had a dream that the whole world turned to glass.
Those who had much to hide were very afraid.

GRACE’S DIARY

FRIDAY, DEC. 28

I don’t know what time it was when I woke the next morning, but no one was home. I looked over to Joel’s bed. It was made. I just lay back in my bed looking at the ceiling, following its cracks with my eyes, trying to distract myself from what I felt. My heart ached in a way I had never felt before. Grace was gone. I had cut off my brother and I had unmasked my parents as the sinners they were. I had never felt so alone in all my life. It was the first time in my life that I truly wanted to die.

What seemed unbelievable to me was that Grace was still out there. Was there a chance that she would be okay? Maybe the police were telling the truth and her parents really wanted to take care of her. Right, and Kennedy and Khrushchev were playing croquet together.

Even if she weren’t hurt, I had betrayed her. It was no use trying to believe that everything was okay. It wasn’t. And it never would be again.

CHAPTER Thirty-six