We went out the front door, then turned back down the driveway, trudging through the snow. I felt as if my feet were carrying me against my will.

Even the moon betrayed Grace that night. It was bright and naked, only slightly blistered by thin, black clouds. It turned the snow-packed ground luminescent. I felt like Judas leading the Roman soldiers to Gethsemane. At least Jesus knew he’d been betrayed. It sickened me that Grace had no idea what was coming.

Then I grabbed on to a thought as frantically as a drowning man grabbing a life preserver. Maybe she did know we were coming. Maybe she had, like me, heard the police radio. Of course she had. I heard it all the way down the street. Or maybe she had seen it all in the candle.

We stopped a few yards in front of the clubhouse.

“This it?” Officer Steele asked.

I didn’t answer. It was a stupid question.

He walked over as if inspecting Joel’s and my work. He pointed at the door. “Is this the only door?”

My father, leaning on his crutches, turned to me. I nodded.

The officer put his hand on the front of our structure and leaned in close. He knocked sharply on the door and said, “Madeline, it’s Officer Steele of the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office.”

We all stood there staring at the door. There was no sound.

“Madeline, we’re not going to hurt you. We’re here to make sure you’re all right.”

Nothing stirred. The policeman got down on one knee and pushed the door open. It was as dark as a cave inside.

“She probably left,” I said angrily. “She probably knew you were coming.”

He looked at me. “How would she know that?”

“She just knows things.”

“Get me a flashlight,” Officer Steele said to his partner.

Officer Buttars left, the sound of his flipper feet clomping through the thick snow as loud as if he were stomping bags of potato chips. With those paddles he should have just walked on top of the snow. I could feel my mother’s gaze on me but I didn’t look at her. I didn’t look at anyone. My eyes were fixed on the little door, fearing that Grace would suddenly appear. As the minutes passed, I started to feel some hope that maybe she had run away.

It seemed an eternity before the younger policeman returned carrying a long silver flashlight that no doubt doubled as a truncheon. He handed it to Officer Steele who pushed open the door, panning inside with the light until he fixed on one point. Then he looked back at his partner and nodded.