“Mum, I’ve just come from the Point.” Mum closes her eyes, she doesn’t want to hear it.

“We know, love. Zara’s cousin Remi is dating a police officer. He told Remi that they found a body, that they’re trying to identify who it is. He said they’re moving quickly, there were crowds there, he said, they don’t want it getting out on social media before they’ve released a statement.”

An older woman in a Barbour jacket starts gently crying in the corner and David stands to comfort her. Mum looks at her and says to no one in particular, “Poor Maggie’s been up all night searching.”

Mum rolls her bottom lip between her teeth. We both watch as David whispers something in Maggie’s ear, and Zara inspects Molly’s cuticles while Dennis takes a huge bite of cake.

I realize none of these people knew Grace, who she really was. We all act like we did, of course, but did any of us really know her or did we just like to think we knew the sweet girl in the wheelchair? We didn’t want to think her life could be complicated—not simple, smiley Grace. Grace who made all of us feel better about our own lot.

“I know it’s an awful thing to say”—Mum talks in a whisper, more to herself than to me—“but a part of me is glad Meg isn’t here, that she can’t go to Grace’s funeral, that she doesn’t have to go through the agony of losing another child.” My stomach plunges. Has she already given up on Grace? If she gives up, then so will everyone in this room, so will I. But then Mum squeezes my hand harder, shakes her head again, and at last looks at me.

“Your hands are freezing, love!” Mum gestures to David’s empty chair. “Come on, sit down with me so I can warm you up.”

I pull the chair closer to Mum, who uncrosses her legs and starts rubbing both of my hands between her own. Neither of us says anything. We look each other in the eye and I feel like I see her clearly now, know her better somehow than before. I’m devastated for her, but I’m also prouder of her than I’ve ever been. My mum, who is so much more than what most people see. She keeps her voice small, her words just for me as she says, “You know, Car, whenever you and I had one of our bust-ups I’d always go to Meg for advice, she’d always know what to do. Even though Grace was younger than you, it was like she knew how to raise a teenager. She was always so wise, so calm when it came to Grace.”

We both stare at our hands as she rubs warmth, life, back into me. If I don’t take my eyes away it’s almost like we’re alone.

“Did you and Meg always tell each other everything, Mum?”

“She was my best friend, love. I never kept anything from her.”