Getting to know him had been a slow, gradual shift. The night under the juniper berries. Then they’d had a shared elective class, and at first she wasn’t sure if they were studying together more out of tolerance or because their old competitiveness meant they worked harder, determined to beat the other’s test scores (Naomi had won by three percentage points).

Though they didn’t see each other much during Naomi’s master’s, they had kept in touch with little messages and caught up around the holidays. Then that disastrous party and years of reverting to their teenage selves.

Evan Kan: In college, I saw you on your own terms, and you saw me on mine. Without Valerie pitting us against each other. She never missed a chance to point out that you were doing what was expected of you, and I was not. I resisted her plans for me at every turn. She gave up on me and focused on you.

That connection we had. That was real.

Naomi stared at the screen. She’d seen that kiss as a confusing misstep, especially once she’d tried to reach out to him at his father’s funeral. She’d taken the rebuff as a clear signal: there was nothing there. There couldn’t be. They’d missed their chance. Or she thought they had, until he showed up at her door.

She wanted to defend Valerie and say she hadn’t made them clash, but she couldn’t. When Evan elected to stay away from Valerie and grow up half a world away, Valerie had shifted her attention to Naomi. Did Evan resent that interest, even as he’d pushed it away? Without the freedom and the funding to make the Cavendish biome, Naomi would never have gotten into NASA. Never been on this ship. That was what she’d always wanted, wasn’t it?

She could imagine Evan’s response: Valerie is very good at making things seem like they were your idea all along. Haven’t you said that to me?

Another message came through.

Evan Kan: It doesn’t matter. We wasted time. Went our different directions. I know I messed up, after my dad died. I shut down. By the time I realised how I felt, you were already with Cole. So I stepped back. Tried to forget. Dated other people. Nothing stuck. Then you divorced, but you were in Scotland. I could have booked a flight. Or called. Something.

Evan Kan: Haven’t you wondered why I agreed to be Valerie’s point of contact on Earth? I didn’t do it for her.