There is a wealth of evidence that demonstrates the harmful effects of a father’s absence from his post: higher rates of incarceration, teenage pregnancy, mental illness, and drug use. We need our fathers. Most any man can help make a child; that’s easy. But it takes love to be a father to that child. And part of that love is discipline.

The writer of Hebrews does not whitewash discipline: “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful” (12:11). This has to be one of the most obvious statements in the Bible. If chastening were pleasant, it wouldn’t be chastening. It is painful! It hurts! It’s never easy to appreciate discipline at the point of impact, and no one chooses to go through it. I’ve never risen in the morning, greeted the sunshine, and prayed, “Lord, I know that trials bring wisdom, so hit me with one today! I can’t wait to see how I grow.”

Here the Bible freely admits that if you enjoy the process of discipline, something is wrong with you. On the other hand, if you don’t appreciate the result of discipline, something is wrong with your commitment. Within every son or daughter of God, there must be a tough, hardened core of determination that says, “I’m not going to like it, but I’m going to take it. It’s for God’s glory, and it’s for my best, so why fight the rain that makes flowers grow?”

Pastor John Piper was asked this peculiar question: Should a true Christian pray for more trouble in his or her life? He replied that when he gets on his knees and reflects on the rough spots in his character that need to be smoothed out, his prayer is, Lord, whatever it takes.

He admits he isn’t about to ask for a car wreck or more pain—“that seems presumptuous.” But he readies his spirit to be submissive to God for any chastening he may need that day.9

We should cherish our chastening because it is God’s way of saying, “You belong to Me, and I love you.” His discipline may anger us at times, but it will protect us, teach us, and prepare us. This is why the early church theologian Jerome is reported to have said, “The greatest danger of all is when God is no longer angry with us.”

Our Reaction to God’s Discipline

And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him.”

—HEBREWS 12:5