Her voice was faint. “Lord, I do not know what to…”

“I will return to the Citadel soon,” he said. “You will come to me there and we will talk. I will tell you then about the thing which I prevent.”

“I am frightened, Lord, more frightened than I ever imagined I could be.”

“Do not fear me. I can be nothing but gentle with my gentle Hwi. As for other dangers, my Fish Speakers will shield you with their own bodies. They dare not let harm come to you!”

Hwi lifted herself to her feet and stood trembling.

Leto saw how deeply his words had affected her and he felt the pain of it. Hwi’s eyes glistened with tears. She clasped her hands tightly to still the trembling. He knew she would come to him willingly at the Citadel. No matter what he asked, her response would be the response of his Fish Speakers:

“Yes, Lord.”

It came to Leto that if she could change places with him, take up his burden, she would offer herself. The fact that she could not do this added to her pain. She was intelligence built on profound sensitivity, without any of Malky’s hedonistic weaknesses. She was frightening in her perfection. Everything about her reaffirmed his awareness that she was precisely the kind of woman who, if he had grown to normal manhood, he would have wanted (No! Demanded!) as his mate.

And the Ixians knew it.

“Leave me now,” he whispered.

CHAPTER XXVIII

I am both father and mother to my people. I have known the ecstasy of birth and the ecstasy of death and I know the patterns that you must learn. Have I not wandered intoxicated through the universe of shapes? Yes! I have seen you outlined in light. That universe which you say you see and feel, that universe is my dream. My energies focus upon it and I am in any realm and every realm. Thus, you are born.

—The Stolen Journals

“My Fish Speakers tell me that you went to the Citadel immediately after Siaynoq,” Leto said.

He stared accusingly at Idaho, who stood near where Hwi had sat only an hour ago. Such a small passage of time—yet Leto felt the emptiness as centuries.

“I needed time to think,” Idaho said. He looked into the shadowy pit where Leto’s cart rested.

“And to talk to Siona?”

“Yes.” Idaho lifted his gaze to Leto’s face.

“But you asked for Moneo,” Leto said.

“Do they report on every movement I make?” Idaho demanded.

“Not every movement.”

“Sometimes people need to be alone.”

“Of course. But do not blame the Fish Speakers for being concerned about you.”

“Siona says she is to be tested!”

“Was that why you asked for Moneo?”

“What is this test?”

“Moneo knows. I presumed that was why you wanted to see him.”

“You presume nothing! You know.”

“Siaynoq has upset you, Duncan. I am sorry.”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be me… here?”