“I have to,” I said. “I have to believe there’s some type of reason that we are where we are right now. That what’s happening to the world is something that maybe we caused, through no fault of our own, but years of prophecy instead—but also, something we can change. If we can’t hold onto the belief that this fight matters because we’re fighting it—because even if we can’t control what our bloodlines did, we can control what they do now—then we fucking have already let everything and everyone against us win by default. And I don’t care if it’s Lydian or the end of the world, neither of those things are going to win. Okay. Focus on that. Please.”

He gave a small sigh, then nodded. “I’ll try. I … I’ve never been unsure of myself like this until now.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re normally pretty full of yourself. But it’s endearing, don’t worry.”

He shot me a cocky grin. “I’m glad you find my arrogance attractive. I’ll remember that next time you claim I’m going to turn your hair white with exasperation.”

I fingered a curl of my hair, staring with disdain at the white streak. There were only a few, and I hoped they didn’t continue to turn. Though it had nothing to do with Soren causing me stress. I was finally beginning to like my appearance. Maybe I’d never fully accept my scars, but I could appreciate them, and looking in the mirror and seeing a reflection so similar to my father’s, dark skin and hair amidst the snowy landscape, no longer filled me with misplaced guilt, but pride. I hoped my hair stayed the same color for the most part even if a few white streaks marked the stag’s power inside of me.

“You’re not the one currently turning my hair white. I seem to be doing that well enough on my own.”

Soren leaned forward until our foreheads pressed against each other, and I could feel his soft breath tickling my face. My hand fell away from his cheek as we fell into a kiss, and I bit back a moan as desire flooded through me. One of his hands tangled itself into my hair as we rose together, only to fall back on the sleeping platform. He carefully kept his weight off me as our kiss deepened and his other hand gripped my hip hard, pulling me in toward him. When we embraced this time, I couldn’t stifle the sounds coming from deep in my throat. I let myself get lost in his body, in his touch, and let the worries of the past few days melt away.