“You said people in your family can sometimes see visions of the future. Your father and grandfather could, but Lydian couldn’t and it enraged him, so he went to the svartlelf caves and demanded to have the gift of sight to a much younger Donnar. He crossed the line too far, and Donnar cursed him with the knowledge of everything here and now, in the future, of the past, every heartbeat and sway of the wind and future of blades of grass. He broke his mind further by making sure he could never tell anyone what he saw, not flat out.”

Soren winced, then frowned. “That actually makes a lot of sense, unfortunately. Why my father said he took a turn for the worse after entering the caverns.”

“One of the things he saw was you and me.”

“Yes, I remember what you said. I’m related to the first Erlking through my mother, and my bloodline coming back into power along with you becoming the stag started Ragnarök. Together we tried to save the world but doomed it instead, and only Lydian knew the truth.” The tone in his voice had lowered and was the only way I could tell he was upset by this. Otherwise, his face remained passive and stoic.

That wasn’t good. I knew Soren, and I didn’t have to guess about the pain he was feeling right now. Because I’d dealt with it myself many times before. Reaching out, I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed reassuringly. “Soren, you can’t blame yourself. You can’t hate yourself for this.”

“Why not?” he bit out. “Why did the stag even choose me if I was going to destroy everything? Why shouldn’t I hate myself?”

I leaned forward. “Because the stag saw something worthy in you. I see something worthy in you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be the Erlking.” He turned his face away and I turned it back, my hand resting on his cheek. I stared into his lilac eyes, saw the shimmer of pain in them. “You can’t blame yourself. You can’t hate yourself. I know that. I’ve spent a hundred years hating myself for things I couldn’t control, and now I realize that’s no way to live. Because then, they’ve won.”

For so long self-hatred had held me back, and even now I struggled not to be as hard on myself. I wouldn’t let Soren fall down the same rabbit hole if I could help it. Because once you fell down, it was a grueling, never-ending climb back up.

“You really believe that?” he said, uncharacteristically quiet.