I’d wanted to let him back into my life because I had been very fond of him at one point. Then again, I had dumped him when I realized that his good intentions, his love, his admiration hadn’t prevented him from being a fountain of problems for me. Maybe I should have just stuck to that.

I took a lengthy, contemplative rip of the pen in the kitchen. I should have just gone out to the backyard again and asked those dorks what the fuck was up, but I was sure I would hear it from someone else. It was probably inevitable, actually.

A guy in the kitchen tried to engage me in conversation and I ducked to a quieter part of the room. I discreetly checked my bank account and decided I couldn’t get away with calling a car. I wondered how long I’d have to wait on the windy M train platform to get home, how much longer I’d have to wait if I stayed for another hour.

Fuck it, I thought, looking around at this room full of people suffering from an overabundance of options. I got what I needed out of this. I found the table with the liquor bottles and took a shot of bourbon, and then I made a lap toward the door.

I wanted to think about anything else. In the entryway, a woman and a man were halfway out the door with cigarettes in their mouths. The woman got my attention because I didn’t recognize her at all. She was wearing an outfit that should have made no sense but was actually sort of perfect. Her dress was made out of pale orange satin, and over top of it was another dress that was like a loose net that hung at an asymmetrical angle. Her boots were leather and went up to her knees. She pulled on the perfect coat over this ensemble. Unlike mine, hers actually looked warm enough for the weather.

Just at first glance, she was the most interesting person I had seen all night. I put my coat and shoes on and followed them out the door.

“Hey there,” she said as I opened the door. It was fully raining now, and the two of them were crowded under the awning.

“Shit, can I bum a cigarette?” I said. I was slurring my words a little bit. When did I become such a lightweight?