“That’s right,” I say cheerfully. “Though I’m quite a bit younger than a traditional matchmaker. In fact, that’s one of the things we’re most proud of at Sweet Nothings—it’s more like a peer-to-peer safety net, like a trusted friend is setting you up on a date after helping you vet candidates. We help you express yourself in the most succinct, and, we hope, charming way, in order to get positive responses from the kind of men you’d like to meet. I think you’ll be happy to know I have a one hundred percent success rate.”

My cheeks get slightly pink. (It’s not technically a lie. I’m one for one!)

“Sweet,” she replies. “And you’re like a spellchecker and grammar bitch?”

“Exactly. Minus the bitch part.”

“Good, because I’m not about having my commas policed.”

“What’s your schedule like? Want to meet in person today or tomorrow to update your profile?” I’m feeling the pressure of the gift card memo to work fast. But I also don’t want to push too hard and scare her off. “Of course, next week’s fine, too.”

Not really, though! It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch Time and the clock started ticking the moment she rang.

“Couldn’t I link you to a profile that’s already up?” she asks.

“You could, but I’ve found people will open up in ways they don’t expect if we chat in person, and it helps me get a feel for your personality, your likes and dislikes, and what you’re looking for physically. Because that counts as much as the mental connection.”

“Truth.”

“We’ll sync laptops and find a handful of candidates to reach out to, then see where that leads us. What’s your favorite online service?”

“Last week it would’ve been Flirtville, but there are waaaaay too many STDs in that population,” she says.

Ah. Something DID happen to push her to activate the gift card. I have a sudden chilling thought of Clifford listening in on our call. I have no idea how but I don’t want her to say anything personal over the phone in case it ends up in front of a man who regularly closes out correspondence with, “Smell you later.”

“Whatta Catch and Game, Set, Match are good, but those tend to appeal to people who are looking for something more serious. Does that work?”

“YES. I definitely want to go the serious route. Can you meet at Dominik’s for lunch on Saturday?” Bree says.

I pull up a map on my laptop and shudder at what I see. Fifty-Fifth Street and Eighth Avenue. Two subway rides away.