She looks over at me. “Dirty Thirty,” she says with a small smile. “According to some, my dating expiration date.”

“Who told you that?”

She waves it off. “No one. Forget it.”

“Well, happy birthday,” I say, feeling bad that I had no idea and therefore didn’t even bring her one of Café Crudité’s cupcakes or something (especially now that I know she likes red velvet). “I’m sorry . . . I bet you’d rather not be spending it with me.”

She shrugs. “Honestly, if it wasn’t for this, I’d probably be holed up in my apartment.” She looks briefly at the wall of midriffs that is now placed squarely in front of us on the crowded train. “Which would probably be an improvement. God, I miss LA.”

She wraps her arms tightly around her knees.

Keeping her mind off things is tougher than I realized. It might work better to get a rise out of her. “What could LA possibly have that New York doesn’t?” I ask.

“Legal weed,” she grits out.

I laugh, surprised. “Well, you have me there.”

“What, I’m supposed to leave my emotions up to fate?”

“You know, there is booze. Prohibition ended here in 1933 just like it did everywhere else.”

“It’s not the same. I just want to be mellow,” she says, so quietly I almost don’t catch it.

“It’s not a mellow city, I’ll give you that. But I think that can be a good thing.” When she doesn’t respond, I add, “Don’t worry. We’re almost there.” Looking up at our fellow commuters, I notice a pregnant woman standing a few people down from us. I glance quickly at her face just to make sure it’s not Jordan in case fate has decided it loathes me today. Relief washes over me at the same time that the woman senses me looking at her and meets my eyes. I gesture to her, asking if she wants my seat. (I’d like to think I’d do the same thing even if it was Jordan but, look, I’ll be honest and say I’m not sure, okay?) She shakes her head.

“I’m getting off at the next stop,” I mouth.

She considers and then flashes me a smile of yes. “Thank you,” she says as she comes over and takes my place.

“No problem,” I say as I stand up and squeeze myself in by the pole in front of Zoey. She’s looking at me, but turns her gaze away after a second.