I sit at the table and for the next few hours I am ostensibly working on a couple of new clients. Clark has made initial contact with a guy who looks promising and I’m crafting his response message. Diego has signed up for this new speed ghosting initiative (I’m beginning to think I may have to put out a hit on Stella), and, though I thought his free chat session went well, I am currently fielding a multitude of questions from him about the packages and trying to work through his reluctance to sign up.

I say ostensibly because in reality, I am waiting for one of two alerts. The bell of the front door signaling that Zoey has come in and seen me basking in the spoils of my victory; or the Game Set Match ping from Jude’s open profile, signaling that TheDuchessB has started a chat.

Three times I go to start a chat myself.

I’m trying to woo a jaded barista into deeming me worthy of morning chitchat. I write the first time, then delete.

Do you think Mary Clarkson kept the costumes and, if so, do you think any of her boyfriends ever had her roleplay with them? I try the second time and delete it again.

The thing is, I don’t need to be writing her at all. I told Jude not to text her until tonight and he needs to make the first contact for real at this point.

So moving on from misheard lyrics, what’s one song everyone loves that you can’t stand? At the risk of having you never speak to me again, I’ll take the plunge and go first: “The Rainbow Connection.”

I hit send. Apparently, I’m unable to talk sense into myself at this point. But why?

Christ, isn’t it obvious? the little voice says.

TheDuchessB: SACRILEGE.

If it wasn’t obvious before, the huge smile on my face and the way my fingers fly across the keys should make it so.

GreatSc0t: But just think about it . . . there *aren’t* so many songs about rainbows. Just like . . . “Over the Rainbow.” The whole song is built on a lie!

TheDuchessB: Do you hate the Muppets too? And sunshine? I’m starting to get worried this isn’t going to work out...

GreatSc0t: Of course I don’t hate the Muppets. Well, at least not all of them . . . can we maybe discuss Miss Piggy’s narcissistic personality disorder though?

TheDuchessB: MISS PIGGY IS AN ICON AND A TREASURE. Though I agree she and chipmunk Alvin would make an epic crossover. As of this moment, I’m a Pigvin shipper.

I laugh out loud. At my laptop screen. While in public.

And, of course, that’s when I can no longer deny what’s actually happening.

I like Bree. As in me, Miles.