Only after we’re stretched out in the water do I start to feel settled. It’s not just the cool of the water, the trees stirring around us, the baby perch nibbling at our toes. It’s all of it. There are some places that just make me feel clear, like the water around me I can see straight to the bottom of any problem. The riverbed will stare back at me and I can focus. Magpies are calling somewhere and the stinking hot day is held back by the arms of the gums.

Something inside me that has been tight and painful loosens. Stretching back in the water I extend my arms out and let myself float. I fill my eyes with the blue sky, white clouds and gum trees that bend over from the riverbanks. Limbs reaching towards each other but never quite meeting.

If the reservoir is where I go for space, the river is where I go for peace. I let the flow take me, doing its best to lift me away from my troubles. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Uncle Joe says if they didn’t give me time alone in the river as a little kid, I’d freak out.

Slipping below the surface I roll around and stand. Massive smile in place I look for Rhi. She’s sat cross-legged on the bank, lounging in the shade. I’d floated out into the middle and downstream a bit. A few vigorous kicks and I am back in the shallow bit where we started.

‘That’s really creepy, ya know?’

‘What?’

‘The way you do that. You get lost.’

I bust out laughing. ‘Get lost in our river, yeah, that’s bad. What kinda blackfulla are ya?’

She flips me the finger. ‘It’s good to see ya feelin better.’

‘Thanks for bringin me out ere, cuzzie, I needed it.’

She side-steps my sincerity. ‘No problem. This is easier than taggin along on a trip with a Miller to forbidden territory.’

I sigh. ‘Yeah, about that. I’m sorry I said all that stuff.’

For once she goes serious. ‘I know. And ya don’t ave to be sorry. I’m worried about Laney too.’

We both go quiet.

‘How’s your face feelin?’ I ask.

‘It looks worse than it feels. You?’

I grimace. ‘Feels about as good as it looks.’

I sink backwards till the river catches me and stare up at that sky again. The blue is starting to darken from that bright day colour, the first hint that the sun is thinking about dipping to the horizon. I talk a big game but I don’t want to risk Mum getting home and finding me gone. Based on yesterday who knew when that would be.

‘We should probably head back.’ I groan.

‘Mmm.’