Maybe what he was feeling was those little bits of her that she left behind. Her outself, her ba, fragmented like a gatemage’s gates. Danny North had been able to talk to Wad’s own gates, to access his memories through them. Were Anonoei’s bits of outself still talking to each other, still reaching out to talk to the people she had known and cared about?

Or was it the absurd idea that Anonoei’s sons had told him—that Anonoei was still inside Bexoi’s body? But that’s not how manmagery works, the whole ka moving into the one possessed. That was Set’s move. And while it might be hard to know which of Anonoei’s sons was the more insane, it was reasonably certain that they were neck and neck, and way over the finish line.

They believe she’s still alive because they want it to be so. And so do I.

I didn’t love her enough to still be obsessing about her on my own. I didn’t realize it, I thought I simply missed her a little, but Ced is dreaming too, and he didn’t know her all that well and could hardly miss her. But dreams of her being trapped inside a box, beating on it to get out, but when he opened it, there was only a dead thing or a monster or something. What were the last scraps of Anonoei trying to say? What did they need, that would be within Wad’s power to give?

Chapter 5

5

Buck Harward’s career had gone just fine up till now. He made a good impression on people at the Point, and while he wasn’t sure which of the two generals he had served as aide was now looking out for him, it was obvious to Buck and everyone else that somebody was bringing him along. He made lieutenant colonel ahead of anyone else in his class, though not so early as to set a record. The real proof of someone’s patronage was the kind of assignment he kept getting: at age thirty-five, he had already served three tours in combat zones, two stints in the Pentagon, and one with NATO.