"Nice," Herbert said. "But there are two things you need to know. First, that's a P5, not a P1-- which is the official name of the Walther P38 you used. They're both 9-X-19mm, and you'll find them remarkably similar. As for the second thing, logs don't shoot real well. People do a lot better."

Herbert finished inputting the telephone number and waited. Jody pressed her lips together and stalked over. She touched the disconnect button.

"Hey!" he said. "Get that finger out of here."

"Thanks for your help, Mr. Herbert-- Bob-- but I'm going."

"No you're not. There are probably hundreds of psycho-militants out there and you don't know what they're like."

"I think I do."

"You don't!" he yelled. "That woman who captured you was Karin Doring. Do you know why she didn't kill you? Woman-to-woman courtesy."

"I know," Jody said. "She told me."

"She won't make that mistake twice," Herbert said. "And the bottom-feeders who work for her won't make that mistake once. Shit, you probably won't even get past the sentries."

"I'll find a way. I can be sneaky."

"Even assuming you are, or assuming the sentries are green or they choke or both, what'll you do if you get there? Kill Karin?"

"No," Jody said. "I don't want to be like her. I just want her to see me. I want her to see that I'm alive and unafraid. She left me without anything in the trailer. No hope, no pride, zero. I've got to get that back."

"But you have!"

"What you're seeing now?" Jody asked. "This isn't pride, it's shame. The fear of shame. The fear that I'm too afraid to face her. I need to bite the ear of my torturer."

Herbert was totally confused. "Excuse me?"

"It's something my grandfather once did. If I don't do that I'll never be able to walk into a dark room or down a lonely street without being afraid. My grandfather also said that Hitler controlled people through fear. I want these people to know that they didn't scare me. I can't do that from anywhere but the camp."

Herbert wheeled a half-turn closer to her. "There's some tiuth to what you're saying, but going back there isn't the way to accomplish anything. You'll have about ten seconds of glory before they cut you down."

"Not if you help me," Jody said. She leaned toward him. "I just want to show my face. That's all. If I don't run from this, I'll never run from anything. But if I do run, then that witch will have succeeded. She'll have killed an important part of me."

Herbert couldn't argue the point. If he was Jody, he'd want to do just what she was suggesting and then some. But that didn't mean he was going to go along with her.