“And remind me why we’re not doing this in a nice, quiet back room? Why must we perform this complex, frankly ridiculous-sounding spell in front of your lecture audience? Is it because you’re an enormous prima donna or do you want to deliver twelve minutes of your lecture to see if boredom will kill everyone quicker than the spell does?” Gotthard Forestfloor smiled at his own joke.

“The spell is the highest level of the darkest magic and so needs an audience,” JP replied. “It needs awe in order to work.”

Forestfloor sighed. “Well, you’re the alchemist. It still sounds stupid to me. How can a spell need ‘awe’?”

JP shrugged. “This one does. And a lot of space, too. The Grand Lecture Theater is perfect.”

“Right. And do we have the yeti?”

“Yes. It escaped briefly, but we now have it back.”

“Excellent. And the maiden?”

“Yep. The original one pulled out, but we have a replacement lined up.”

“And the cats?”

“On their way.”

“Well, all we need to do now is decide what book we’re putting in. I still think that the novel form is the purest. My book, The Bleak Midwinter, sets out our philosophical position very clearly. It can’t be misread like a poem.”

“Maybe we should just put them all in,” suggested Lady Tchainsaw.

“Yes, perhaps you’re right,” said Forestfloor. “They don’t contradict each other, so it would probably work. As long as between them they clash strongly enough with whatever’s already in there. My research suggests that this is all that’s needed to wipe everything out. And then we can start again. Do it our way, with the purer magic that will gush forth once the Flow is gone.”

“Are you absolutely sure the Flow should be removed?” asked Lady Tchainsaw. “In the library book it mentioned that the Flow is the fundamental force of the universe and without it all that would be left is an unimaginable vacuum of darkness and sorrow.”

“Yes, but you’ve cut that bit out presumably?” said JP.

“Indeed,” said Lady Tchainsaw.

“Good,” said Gotthard Forestfloor. “Onward, then, to tonight!”

23

RAVEN SAID GOODBYE TO Marcel and Hazel Bottle and flew as fast as she could back to the university. At first she thought she’d misunderstood Lexy. A yeti? But then she remembered that the spell she’d overheard in the library had included the eye of a live yeti. The Diberi must have got a yeti from somewhere and Lexy must have rescued it.

She landed in the fresh snow next to the old Portacabin by the university’s back gates. The door was open, and cold air was blowing through the small structure. There was a chair lying on its side, and a desk that had been tipped over. The yeti was gone. Had it escaped on its own or did the Diberi have it back?