CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The second time I wake up in Jace Dawson’s arms, I’m less hungover, but more confused.

Jace is still asleep, so I lie in bed and study his strong jaw and sharp cheekbones, trying to figure out how I got here. If someone had asked me on my first day at Lincoln University who I would most be dreading saying goodbye to, I never would have even considered the arrogant guy with dark hair and gray eyes I collided with.

Somehow, our bickering morphed into a deep-rooted fascination, followed by a magnetic attraction. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment where it became more than that, but as I recall watching Jace play board games with his family and carefully carrying me across a dirt field, I realize I’m just as enchanted by the vulnerable side of him few get to see.

I study his peaceful expression and recall his words from the night before. I thought Jace Dawson would be the perfect candidate for a college fling. Experienced, unattached, uncaring. Someone I could barely stand but was insanely attracted to.

I’ve refused to listen to anyone who’s suggested it, but I suddenly realize what I’ve hardly let myself hope for. That Jace really does see me differently from the many other girls he’s been with in the past. I did everything I could to distract myself from the possibility while I was with his family, but now that it’s just the two of us again, I have no way to hide from the truth. More so, I realize I want it to be true.

Jace deserves someone who will be there on the day he gets drafted and bake pies with his mom for Thanksgiving without lying to her friends.

That’s someone I can never be.

I feel a surge of panic in response to the pain I experience imagining some other girl, like Gretchen, being the one Jace spends those moments with. It forces me to confront the other truth I’ve been in denial about.

It’s not just Jace’s feelings I’ve underestimated.

It’s my own as well.

As I trace the lines of Jace’s sleeping face, the first word that comes to my mind isn’t like, or lust. It’s love. That realization sends a fresh bolt of horror through me that’s enough to propel me out of bed to get dressed and gather my backpack.

I slip out of Jace’s house and start to walk back to campus in a daze. I finally manage to tamp my thoughts down to a manageable level of alarm as I arrive back at Kennedy Hall.

When I enter my dorm room, I’m surprised to see Katie is sitting on her bed, already dressed in workout clothes. She lets out a loud sigh of relief when I enter our room.

“Where the hell have you been?” she asks. “I was worried sick.”

“Sorry, I meant to text you last night,” I reply. “How come you’re already awake?”

“Claudia texted me yesterday, inviting me to a yoga class this morning with you guys. She said you already said you would go.”