“We’re supposed to get intel on the new sheriff,” I explain as I dig the keys to my baby blue 1969 Camaro out of my pocket.

“There’s a new sheriff?” Zay asks as he locks the front door and pockets the keys.

I shrug. “Apparently.”

“So, we’re basically finding out if he’s corrupt,” Jax states, slipping on a pair of sunglasses

I nod as I make my way to the driveway. “Pretty much.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, then,” Jax states as we reach the car. “Well, unless he’s some sort of saint.”

“Yeah,” I agree, crossing my fingers he’s not.

Otherwise, the information we gather on him might be the start of his death certificate.

But we have to do the job or else are lives will be ruined by our fathers.

Our fucking piece of shit fathers who have tried to ruin our lives. Who have ruined out lives. Just like Diane.

Her name screams inside my mind like fingernails on my flesh. I can feel my body pounding. I need to get her—the memories out.

“Hold on, I forgot one of my books,” I say to Zay.

Then I turn around and hurry back into the house. I can feel his eyes on me, probably because he’s worried about what I’m going to do. And he has every right to be worried because I am going to do it.

Silence the monster. Or feed it, depending on how you want to look at it.

As soon as I get to my room, I lock the door and dig it out of the drawer I hide it in. A minute later, little white lines of temporary bliss slip inside me and choke those memories to death. Of course, once the numbness is gone, they’ll return full force like fucking relentless bastards. That’s okay, though. I’ll just silence them again,

Maybe one day I’ll silence them completely.

4

RAVEN

I decide to take a little detour before I enter the school and sneak out by the dumpsters to take a few hits. It’s a risky move, for sure, since I’m not familiar with how this school works, but I need my calm.

I smoke until my mind is hazy. I smoke until I can’t feel anything but sedation, numbness. I smoke until I can’t think about much of anything.

Emptiness. Just how I like it. I just wish it could last forever.

But the pain always returns, sometimes full-force, like blazing hot metal trying to sear out my insides.

Once I’m good and blazed, I spray some perfume on, put some eye drops in, and then head inside the school.

Last night, my aunt told me that I’m supposed to stop by the office this morning to pick up my schedule. I expect to see Dixie May in there and plan on giving her the stupid, sparkly case then, but by the time I enter the office, she’s either already picked up her schedule, or she decided to spend the morning trying to find a clique she can dictate.