Kendara has always known what I am. In my earliest memory of her, I’d been practicing my sword forms, unaware that she’d been watching from the shadows until she made herself known. I’d always believed it to be a chance encounter, but it couldn’t have been. Everything she’d fed me about potential and greatness—had it all been a lie?

She hadn’t selected me as a pupil because she believed I could do great things. She chose me because she’d made a promise to my mother. Had she ever intended to make me Shadow? If she’s always known what I am, then it seems unlikely.

Saengo brushes the letter aside as her arms circle my shoulders. I feel hollow, everything I am and everything I was scraped out.

The pathetic part is that I still miss her. I miss her so terribly that I ache with it. She is the closest thing to a mother I have ever known.

Sometime later, when I’ve gathered up the broken pieces of myself, I swipe the back of my hand over my eyes and pick up the letter again.

“We don’t have to do this now,” Saengo says softly.

“Yes, we do.” I can’t waste any more time feeling sorry for myself.

I turn the letter over to look at the wax seal again. Who had Kendara been before she became Shadow? How had she known my mother? Had my mother been a soulguide as well? They must have suspected what my craft might be; otherwise, how else would she have guessed I’d end up here at Spinner’s End?

“It sounds like she thought Ronin would try to use you to maintain his power,” Saengo says. “‘Whatever you decide.’ She wanted you to choose.”

I shake my head. “There’s no choice to make, and what Ronin wants doesn’t matter. I have to destroy the Dead Wood. That’s the only way to save you. At least now we know why Queen Meilyr would send assassins after me. She must have known what I am.”

“But the only person who could have told her is Kendara.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” I rub my temple. Kendara is a master of secrets, including her own. As much as I love her, I know so little about her. How can she claim to love me and then betray me? How very like her to leave me so unbalanced.

With this revelation, there is little chance that I’ll ever be allowed to return to Evewyn. If I’m honest with myself, I suppose there had never been much of a chance. If the queen has been plotting against me since even before I discovered what I am, nothing I do will sway her. But if I can destroy the Dead Wood, then at least Saengo might still have a home.

“Who else could it have been?” Saengo asks.