The pints of green are flowing. Sammy’s got a big cock, Moira says to them. I do, son, actually. That’s enough, Barney says, for fuck sake, now I’m sitting here picturing this cunt’s big green cock. Listen, Wee Robin says to us. Me and Barney have got a surprise for youse. Ah fuck, I says to myself, he’s not gone and married this bitch, has he? But then she says, come back to the van with us for a minute, we’ve got some presents for youse. We go back to the van and hanging there on the wall are these outfits. We made costumes for youse for the fancy dress, Wee Robin says to us. We made your costume from The Forever Family, she says to me. We made you The Anomaly’s outfit. And it looks cool as fuck, actually, with the black PVC leggings and a black shield with a black-on-black ‘A’ on the chest, a helmet with a half-visor and this dark-blue floor-length cloak. I’m supposed to fucking wear this thing? I says to them. But really I couldn’t fucking wait. Go on, you daft cunt, Barney says to me, it’ll be some laugh, so it will. Besides, Moira says, I’d rather fuck The Anomaly than The Incredible Hulk. Maybe he’s got a big black cock. Moira, we made you a superhero too, hen, Wee Robin says to her. You’re Alphagirl. She hands Moira this sexy wee number with the black PVC and a boob tube with a Zorro mask. What are you two going as? I says to them. He’s Neutrino, obviously, Wee Robin says. I made him the full suit of body armour. But Neutrino doesn’t have a partner, she says to me. He’s a man alone, trapped inside his body armour and living in a world of pain. Sounds like Barney, I says to her. So I’m just going as Robin, she says. Batman’s Robin. Does this mean Robin has joined The Forever Family? Barney says to her. Looks like a whole new line-up, she says, and she winks.

*

We get to the social and it’s clear we’ve got some serious competition; the place is heaving with your top superheroes. It’s the most popular masquerade in the country, Wee Robin says. Youse two fucking tricked me, I says to Barney. This is a fucking comics convention you’ve brought us to.

Barney just shrugs, and he says, it’s only a masquerade. That’s what he says, it’s only a comic book masquerade.