“You just like Mateo better.”

Archer rubbed his forehead. “Well, right now I kind of do!”

Caleb gasped.

“You’ve been so awful to him, showing up late on purpose, criticizing his every move, when all he’s tried to do is what’s best for the show—”

“Oh, the show, the show, the show! I am so sick of hearing about the show!”

“It’s the entire reason we’re here, Caleb!”

“Yeah, it’s really not, Archer. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! Nobody cares!”

“You should care! I care! And M—” He stopped.

“And Mateo cares,” Caleb finished in a singsong. “What a perfect little couple the two of you will make.”

“Look”—Archer sighed—“I hope we can still be fr—”

“Fuck off, Archer.” Caleb smiled and waggled his fingers in a wave as he backed away. “Fuck right off.” He whirled and bolted. Archer started to follow, but Caleb paused when he got to the bottom of the stairs and turned to the gang on the dock, who were watching, wide-eyed.

“HAVE FUN FUCKING ARCHER!” Caleb shrieked to Mateo. “YOU TWO CAN HAVE THE PERFECT SEX THAT’S RIGHT ON TIME AND ACCORDING TO PLAN! DON’T FORGET TO BE ONE HOUR EARLY!”

The kitchen crew who were halfway up the stairs snickered behind their hands as Caleb stalked up the path. Everyone in the cabin had no doubt heard the screeching, too. Archer considered throwing himself into the lake. But first, he looked at Mateo.

Mateo was horrified. Dominik and Gage clearly thought Caleb’s outburst was hilarious and were doing a very poor job pretending they weren’t laughing. Betty, Daniella, and River watched Archer with concern etched across their faces.

Archer’s feet were frozen to the deck, cheeks burning hotter than the sun. Oh God, oh God, oh God. He considered bolting up the path, under the pretense of chasing Caleb, but no. He couldn’t avoid them forever. They’d all be dancing together in a couple hours anyway.

He sucked it up and trudged along the dock, eyes on his feet.

“So … not a good breakup?” Betty greeted him.

“I’m really sorry you guys had to see that,” Archer said, avoiding Mateo’s stare. “That was … Caleb…” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I didn’t say anything like that, Mateo, he was angry and I—”

“It’s okay,” Mateo rumbled. “I figured that was Caleb being Caleb. What an ass.”

The guffaw Dominik had been trying to hold in burst out. “According to plan, though! Classic!” He dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“Shut up, Dominik.” Betty glared at him and gave Archer a hug. “You okay?”

“I guess, but … that sucked,” Archer muttered into her shoulder.

“Yeah, breakups suck, but still better than dragging something out that doesn’t feel right, right?”