Maddie drags the axe she found in the closet by the stairs, and her arms ache and her shoulders are stiff and tired. The axe is heavier than Maddie’d thought when she set out. She carried it at first like a huntsman, lodged between the curve of her neck and her shoulder, but now she pulls it behind her with both hands. She meant to find a small tree, to cut it down and drag it, surprise her mother: a gift she got all on her own that they could share. Kevin cut down his own tree in Home Alone. She meant to be back, to have the tree in the house before her mother ever knew that she had gone to get it. She shouldn’t have told her that they couldn’t have one and she feels bad about it now. Why not give this small thing to her mother? That picture from Alice, the tree at her house: lit up, gorgeous, festive. She’ll be a little late but she can still surprise her. Her mom won’t be mad once she sees what she’s brought home. They’ll get lights with lots of colors. They’ll make the ornaments themselves. And it’s so perfect out here, the way the air feels clean and sharp, the way the snow sits, white and blank and not too dark.

She’s climbed a ridge, because a tree that she thinks that she can cut and carry has proven harder to find than she’d thought when she set out. She’s not scared, though, not tired. She loves the way the moon glints off the snow, the way the quiet feels so open but also all filled up. She grabs hold of the trunks of trees as the path gets steeper; she clutches the axe with just one hand, and her shoulder aches, and her gloved hand slips on the wood, and she falls down. She’s higher up now, and the stars are so bright, all around her, fewer trees as she gets farther. She thinks maybe she could lie down, right here, now that she’s fallen. Her coat is good and thick, her gloves are waterproof, and maybe she could put the axe down, rest a while. Clouds are moving slowly toward her, behind the mountains past the Hudson, lit up at the edges by the moon. She could catch a full view of the stars if she just lay down right here; she’ll get up again right after, find her mom a perfect tree, get home.

The Woods